


Infinity

by ghostrider



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bakery AU, Fluff, Highschool AU, M/M, Mutual Pining, Shy Zayn, Winter fic, cool kid liam, just lotsa fluff, zerrie friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4912576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostrider/pseuds/ghostrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>liam doesn't really care about relationships and all the falling in love business, all he really cares about is basket ball, and his two best friends who have been around a long time. but then he meets the new guy who works at the local bakery. all brown eyes, and shy smiles. and suddenly, he's all liam is thinking about.</p>
<p>(where liam is the cool kid, and zayn the cute, shy boy who works at the bakery and has just moved in town.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Infinity

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so i guess i love writing highschool aus. liam and zayn are going to be 51 irl and i'll be here writing about them being 17 and 18. the school system is british though, they're doing their A-levels (which in this fic is equivalent to high school, i am not very much educated on the difference between alevels and highschool so.)
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy this. it's just plenty of pining and fluff. i wanted to write something happy. :) x

The first time Liam sees Zayn, it’s a cool November night. 

It’s like eleven past five and because some unexpected guests had arrived and decided to stay at Liam’s house, his mum had forcefully sent him out to pick up some warm bread and spice buns from the local bakery. Having lived here all his life, it’d just taken about five minutes for Liam to reach the bakery, even when his home was fifteen minutes away or something. And another five minutes to place his order.  

The bakery is small and cozy but it is still the best bakery in his little town. It’s all wallpaper inside; dark brown and grey, shaped into each other giving off a warm aura, tiled floor like a chess board; only dark brown tiles with white instead of black. The front window door; a grey ‘OPEN/CLOSE’ cardboard sign hanging on it. There’s a main counter, showcasing cupcakes and muffins, sandwiches, patties, bagels and donuts, inches in front from the back wall, a cash register at the right corner and a door that leads to the kitchen at the left one.

About nine or ten metal round tables are scattered around the small place, not in a pattern just randomly, with wooden stools around them. They’re not for proper dining, they’re just for the people who’re waiting for their bread to get ready, or for the ones who have just stopped by for a cup of coffee. This bakery is infamous all around town, like it doesn’t even have a proper name, if someone says I’m going to the bakery, everyone just knows it’s this one. Specially because it serves hot bread and buns made right after you order them, and the coffee, Liam isn’t even a big fan of coffee or any kind of hot beverage really, but he once ordered a cup because Niall insisted, and he has to say, it was lip smacking fantastic. Possibly the best he had ever had.

And so, now, Liam sits on the round stool, his hands on the metal table in front of him. The place is fairly vacant at the moment; just a few customers, besides Liam, lounging on stools, waiting to receive their orders. Liam wonders why it’s taking so long and figures that it must be because of the time; most of the work staff usually leaves at nine. Only some remain behind, the “part time/night shift bakers” – Liam is so educated on the subject because some time ago an acquaintance of his worked here, and during that time Liam was almost always here, lounging on a stool, gobbling all the free stuff he was passed. Then his friend had left town and now he only ever comes here when his mother forgets to pick up bread or when there’s an emergency; the kind they’re having right now.

So he sits. Waits. Plays with his fingers and checks out his reflection on the surface of the metal table. He’s got a beanie covering his brown hair, and is wearing a blue hoodie that he plans to sleep in tonight. A ‘pop’ sound averts his attention to the girl behind the cash register. She is tall, slim, dark hair tied back, with a white head scarf tied just above her forehead. She keeps on blowing her bubble gum and humming a tune which echoes around. He hasn’t seen her here before, maybe because he doesn’t usually come here. He debates whether he should get up and go make conversation, pass time or just sit there and keep playing with his fingers. Then decides on the latter because he’s too lazy to get up and it’s just so cold, even inside the bakery where one would expect it to be warmer.

Then suddenly, his is distracted by a thick, frantic male voice. He quickly looks towards the source and is astonished to see a boy, coming out from the kitchen with a large tray in his hands, piled with buns, and a phone pressed between his left ear and shoulder. He’s surprised not because that’s his usual reaction to boys, no; it’s just that he has never seen a boy work at this bakery besides his friend. It was only him who had taken a job, and after that, until now, Liam had only ever seen women work here. And the other reason is, he has never seen this guy before. He looks of only about seventeen or maybe eighteen, and is dressed in a baker’s coat, black buttons clasped shut all the way up, and a baker’s hat over his head which obscures his hair from view.

“Mom, just chill okay,” the baker boy says into the phone as he makes his way to the counter, places the tray laden with buns on it, “I’ll be back soon. We had a bit of a problem today, so that’s why I’m late. I’m fine, I’m okay, I promise!”

It’s actually amusing, how much he sounds like a child with that deep, rusty voice of his. His accent is a bit different from the people here though, Liam wonders if he’s from uptown. He watches him skillfully sorting out the bread into paper bags, phone still sandwiched between his ear and shoulder. It’s actually impressive.

“No no no, you don’t have to come to pick me up, I’ll come back home myself. I have Pez with me. Mom I can. I know. I am eighteen mum–”

He stops short, his mother probably saying something.

“Okay, okay,” he sighs, “I am _almost_ eighteen though, and I can manage. It’s not even that late! Here you go sir,” he hands a man a brown paper bag, with his stuff in it, simultaneously saying, “Yeah mom, don’t worry.” he hands another bag to the next customer, “I am hanging up, I’ve got work to do. Yeah, k bye, be back soon.” 

Shaking his head, he slips his cell in his pocket and gets back to work in a second, “I’m sorry you had to wait too much,” he keeps on muttering to every customer while he sorts their orders and hands each of them a bag.

When he is down to the last two, a young girl comes out of the kitchen, whom Liam has seen before. Her name is Perrie, and Liam knows because she has been here as long as he has. She is carrying another tray, laden with a hot loaf of brown bread and plenty of buns.  

“Zayn,” Perrie says, placing the tray right beside the now empty tray already in front of the boy, “All of this is of Liam. He’s right there.”

She throws a smile Liam’s way which he politely returns, as he gets up to get his order.

“Yeah yeah,” the boy, Zayn, says, his eyes immediately finding Liam, now the only customer left as he hands her the empty tray and grabs another paper bag. He is still putting in the spice buns when Liam reaches him.

Up close, Liam realizes that this Zayn guy is pretty darn good looking. Everything he couldn’t see before, he can see clearly now under the yellow light that hangs between them from the ceiling. Zayn’s eyes are a brown, dark shade (liam wonders if they change colour in the sun), his eyelashes are the longest Liam has ever seen, there is slight stubble covering his sharp jaw and chin (liam wonders how many days since he last shaved), and there is a badge on his chest pinned on his white double breasted jacket, gold letters spelling _'Zayn_ ’ polished on it. Liam knows he definitely isn’t from here because this is the type of guy the girls are always talking about, and he has never even heard that name. His eyes fall on his lips then, a dark shade of pink, parched, and they’re moving, saying words. Liam jolts back to his senses.

“Here you go,” Zayn is saying, tilts his head towards the cash register, “Pay over there, thank you and I’m sorry if you had to wait.

“It’s okay,” Liam says, taking the bag from his outstretched hand, their fingers touch so very lightly, “How come I’ve never seen you here before?”  

Zayn is about to turn away but stops when he hears Liam. With a quizzical look on his face, he hesitantly answers, “Uh, maybe because I joined like a week or two ago?”

“Oh yeah, maybe that’s why, I come here a lot with my friends, hadn’t seen you before so I was wondering,” Liam lies, trying to make conversation, rid Zayn of the unease that has visibly come over him.

“You and your friends come _here_ a lot?” Zayn asks, right eyebrow rose in suspicion.

“Why? Is there something wrong with this place?” Liam asks.

“No, I just- haven’t seen a lot of people my age hanging out here you know,” Zayn shrugs, “This isn’t a very fun place, it’s a bakery I mean, it’s kind of- a dull place to hangout.”

“Well, I am not going to fight you on that,” Liam says, grinning, “But Perrie makes some good coffee, like the best in all of England I think. And my friends like to be high on caffeine, so they drag me here. That’s why, I come here a lot.”

“Oh,” Zayn’s lips curve up a little at that, “Yeah, Pez does. Make amazing coffee, like no competition in the world.” 

“Yeah, anyway, I’ll see you around then,” Liam says, putting his hand out, “I’m Liam, by the way.”

“Yeah, I heard. I am Zayn,” Zayn says, his fingers going around Liam’s hand, “Wow, you’re cold. Your hands are so cold.”

“Well, it _is_ cold outside,” Liam states the obvious, shoving his hand into his jacket pocket, doesn’t know why, “I got to leave before it gets colder, goodbye then?”

“Okay,” is all Zayn says before he turns around and walks hurriedly back inside the kitchen. Liam just stands there for a moment, wondering if Zayn did insult him in a way or if he’s just being paranoid. Or maybe he’s just used to people kissing his feet, and worshipping him and the fact that Zayn didn’t even care about replying properly just doesn’t sit well with him. Like the last time someone replied to his goodbye with an ‘okay’ was never.

Maybe this entire trying to be good and make friends with Zayn wasn’t a good idea at all. He’s better off with his own friends really, and he doesn’t even lack in that area.

“What a jerk!” Liam mutters under his breath as he gets out of his daze and goes over to the cash register.

He pays, throwing a flirtatious smile to the girl, a golden ‘ _Sophia_ ’ glittering on her badge, and gets a wider smile back. He is just about to leave when a familiar voice stops him, “Liam, wait.”

He turns around in his steps, more like jerks around at the voice, and sees Zayn walking towards him. He is too busy trying to guess why Zayn stopped him, that he doesn’t notice anything else until Zayn is right in front of him, no counter separating them this time, and then Zayn is handing him a hot, styrofoam cup, filled to the brim with steaming coffee.

“Here,” he says.

And Liam looks at him puzzled, “I didn’t order coffee.” 

“I know. It’s on the house,” Zayn shrugs, his eyes really are beautiful.

“But I d–”

“You’re cold, it’s cold outside and you just said you had a long walk home,” Zayn says, “Drink it, it’ll keep you warm.”

Liam doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t even drink a lot of coffee, especially not this late at night, he won’t be able to sleep, but he doesn’t want to return it and wipe that hopeful smile off Zayn’s face.

“Thanks, Zayn.”

“No problem. See you around Liam, goodbye.”

And then Zayn walks away, leaving Liam a bit dazed, a bit warm inside.

—-  
  
The next day, on his way back home from school, Liam insists on visiting the bakery again. But Louis, his best friend since Liam had come out of his mother’s womb, or it seems like that way to him anyway, just shakes his head firmly.

“Have you ever seen me near a bakery? Like ever? I am not a bakery kind of guy Liam, so please stop pushing,” not looking at Liam, paying attention to the road ahead as he drives his car. It’s an old, black Mercedes, his dad left behind for him when he divorced his mom. Louis hates his dad, but it is a fucking Mercedes, even if it’s not in the best condition, even if it’s not the latest model, it’s still the best car anybody at their school has. And Louis didn’t have enough money to buy a new car anyway, so he had decided this would have to do.

“What even is a bakery kind of guy Louis?”

“One, Niall. Two, you. Boring, mundane, out of your fucking mind.” 

“Okay, I was only saying because there is this new girl behind the cash register and you should check her out, girls like that aren’t easy to find.”

“Is she Mila Kunis?” Louis asks.

”No.”

“Then, thanks but no.”

“Louis, please!”

“No, Liam.”

“She makes really good coffee, you haven’t tried it yet, and you’re missing out,” Liam says. 

“Since when do you even drink coffee Liam?”

“Since last night, I am telling you Louis this coffee is the only coffee–”

“Coffee. What about coffee?” a thick Irish accent speaks from the back seat, and he had completely forgotten about Niall sprawled on the back seat.

”I just wanted a cup of coffee from the bakery,” Liam says, thanking god because he knows if Niall wants it too, Louis will have to drive them there, Louis doesn’t retaliate much when it’s two against one, “But Louis is being a sour puss.”

“Perrie’s coffee?” Niall asks.

“Yeah,” Liam says, “Who elses?”

“Okay Louis,” Niall says, “You have to try it! Come on, just one cup and I am telling you, its end game! You won’t want any other coffee ever!”

“No,” Louis says, “I’ll throw you both out of my car if you mention coffee again.”

But they do mention coffee again, and they’re insistent so in the end Louis does end up parking in front of the bakery, “If anyone sees me here, I’ll be digging two graves in my backyard tonight.”

Liam ignores him and so does Niall, as they walk in, Niall dragging in Louis. Liam scans the bakery and he feels the disappointment settling in his chest, Zayn isn’t there. Maybe he’s in the kitchen, he tells himself, walking beside Niall.

“I am going to make Louis sit and stay still, you go order for us,” Niall nudges him and he nods his head.

He walks up to the cash register, glad the girl, Sophia, from last night is still there.

“Can I have your order?” Sophia asks, smiling in recognition.

“Uh. I was just here to ask if Perrie is here right now?” he asks, giving her his best smile.

“She is, I guess,” Sophia asks, her eyes narrowing, “Why is there a problem?”

“She is- uh- she’s a friend of mine,” Liam says, “Could you call her please?”

“Sure,” she hesitates, but commands the nearest person behind the counter to summon Perrie anyway.

Liam stands there awkwardly. He doesn’t really know Perrie; has seen her couple of times but hasn’t ever had a real chat. But he is sure he’ll handle this situation perfectly, because historically, he has always been pretty good when it comes to girls. Better than both Louis and Niall actually, even though Niall is pretty great at sweet talking.

Or not. Because when Perrie comes to him, her hair tied up in a tight bun above her head, hair pulled back with a white band. She has got beads of sweat on her forehead, clearly she had been busy and Liam has disturbed her because her facial expression screams, ‘I don’t have time for your shit right now.’

“Yes, you wanted to see me?” she asks politely though, Liam knows she is faking it.

“Uh, I wanted to ask, uh, the guy from last night,” he stammers, “Zayn, is he working right now?”

“No,” she says, frowning, “Why?”

Her eyes are narrowed, and she looks suspicious.

“I- just- he gave me coffee last night and I didn’t pay for it. So, I’m here to pay for it,” he lies, and then mentally slaps himself because what if Perrie had sent it, Zayn said it was on the house, what if Perrie knew Zayn had given it to him for free, he’s going to get caught.

“Oh,” the confusion painted over her face vanishes completely, “There is no need, Zayn paid for it.” 

“I- what?” Liam asks, he didn’t know that, “Oh, okay. I didn’t know that, so is he working here today? I could pay him back.”

“No. He will be here in a few though,” she digs out her cell from her apron pocket and checks the time, “He is late today. Had an art class, so he’ll be here in like fifteen most probably. You can wait if you want, order something?” 

“Uh well sure,” Liam shrugs, “Three cups of coffee to that table, yeah?”

He points towards where his friends are seated and isn’t surprised at all to see Niall staring at him, questionably.

“And would you like something with it? Muffins or buns? They’re all absolutely fresh,” Perrie says, her voice suddenly sweeter.

“Uh- no.” 

“Alright,” and then she’s strutting off.  

Liam trots back to the table, Louis giving him a stern look, “And since when are you into blonde women?”

“If you end up marrying Perrie, I could have her coffee, free for the rest of my life,” Niall says.  

“I wasn’t chatting her up,” Liam makes a face, “I was just making sure the coffee is fresh, it’s Louis’ first cup, it needs to be perfect.” 

“If that’s all you were talking about, then why do you like you just got kicked out of your basketball team?”  Louis asks.

“What?” Liam asks.

“Something’s up with you, something’s wrong,” Louis says, and Niall suddenly straightens from where he was leaning backwards into his chair, to listen in on the conversation.   
  
“Nothing’s up with me, nothing is wrong,” Liam shrugs nonchalantly at him.

“I’m Louis. You’re Liam. Louis knows when Liam is lying.”

“Everything is fine Lou.” 

“Doesn’t look like it is to me.” 

“Whatever Lou,” Liam sighs, leaning back into his chair. There is really nothing wrong with him, he was just expecting to find Zayn here and he didn’t. And now he’s just impatient because he is really bad at waiting. He hates waiting, the minutes ticking by, slow, not fast enough. He just hates.

“See. There it is. That weird look on your face and that sigh,” Louis says again, “You brought us here to a bakery on a Friday when I should be at your place kicking your ass at FIFA. Also, you’re suddenly drinking coffee, you hate coffee.”

“Three cups, just like you asked,” Perrie interrupts Louis’ speech and Liam is more than grateful. “Pay at the counter,” she says before giving them a smile and walking back.    
  
“Nah, don’t marry her Liam,” Niall says, as he eyes her and shakes her head the very next moment, “She ain’t your type. But still, we have to find a way to get this coffee for free.”

“You marry her,” Liam laughs dryly at that, sliding a cup towards Louis.

“I am too young,” Niall says, “I am a flower that hasn’t even properly bloomed yet.”

“I can’t believe that sentence just came out of your mouth,” Louis says, as he sips his coffee and then stops, licks the cream off his lips.

“How is it?” Liam asks.

“No, you don’t talk to me,” Louis says, “You’re a liar. Niall, this is the best fucking coffee I’ve ever had. Why haven’t I had this before?”

“Because of your anti bakery-ism,” Liam says.

“And who are you, I don’t know you,” Louis says.

“Oh, Louis,” Liam grins, “If anything was wrong with me, I’d let you know yeah?”

“Promise?” Louis asks.

“Promise,” Liam says.

“Okay, well, I regret not coming here and trying this before,” Louis admits and Liam high fives Niall, both of them grinning.

Liam is half down his cup, Louis has ordered a second and Niall is helping himself to some donuts when he hears a hasty voice that has him choking on his drink.

“Shit Pez. I am late okay. I had a class, I am here now. Come out and see for yourself,” there is a sound of a phone flipping shut.

He wants to turn around and greet Zayn, but he knows how suspicious that would look so he just keeps sipping his coffee, his eyes on the table. He hears the footsteps approach their table but doesn’t look up until he hears Perrie’s familiar voice. And he gulps when he does, because wow. Zayn isn’t dressed in that stark white shirt from lasr night, and he is not even wearing that hat that was hiding his god damn hair. Instead, he is dressed up in blue jeans; torn and faded and a green/blue plaid shirt, open from the front with a white cotton shirt underneath. And his hair, jet black, styled up in a quiff and a quiff hasn’t ever complimented someone so perfectly before.

“You asked for Zayn” Perrie says to him, “Well, he’s here.”

Liam stands up to face Zayn who is just looking back at him – looking just looking not staring – with an amused expression on his face that makes Liam clutch his coffee cup a little bit more tightly.

“And if you need anything else, you know where to find me,” Liam hears Perrie say before thankfully, she walks away.  

“So you were asking for me?” Zayn asks, “Why?”

Liam hesitates, super aware of two pairs of eyes digging holes in his back, “Yeah- I no- I just wanted to say thank you for last night. You know, the coffee. I heard you paid for it yourself.” 

“It’s no big deal, Liam, I would’ve done it for anybody,” Zayn says. And that shouldn’t sting Liam, so why does it?

Louis clears his throat behind him at that, which causes Zayn to glance over Liam’s shoulder, “Oh. So you _do_ actually hang out here?”

“Yeah, I do” Liam turns around so that his back is now facing towards Zayn as he shoots Louis a warning glance and introduces, “These are my friends. Louis. Niall. And guys, this is Zayn. He is- he works here.” 

Niall just nods at him, wiping his lips with his sleeve and Louis just gives Zayn a very obvious one over and then smirks, “Oh. So _that’s_ what’s wrong.”

“What?” Zayn asks, his face scrunching up in confusion and Liam shuts his brain down before it can come up with words to describe how cute he looks.

“Nothing, I was just recalling something,” Louis says, quite clearly this time, “Another topic, I tend to do that a lot. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you. Liam hasn’t told me anything about you at all.”

Liam wants to punch Louis, because that wasn’t necessary but he knows a punch would do Louis nothing good. He’s still going to be Louis, just with a black eye and sore face.

Zayn glances at Liam, still looking confused.

“He’s just like that, you’ll have to ignore him,” Liam says.

“Liam says that a lot about me,” Louis says, “Even when I speak nothing but the truth.”

“Uh, okay,” Zayn says, biting his lip, “So uh- how often do you guys come here?”

“I don’t ever, but because of this amazing coffee and a couple of other things, I think we’re going to be regulars from now on,” Louis says, “Right, Liam?”

“We almost stop by every other day,” Liam ignores Louis’ snort, as he faces Zayn.

“Oh, then I’ll be seeing a lot of you,” Zayn says.

“Which is brilliant you know,” Niall speaks for the first time, “We’re a delight!”

“You can hang out with us anytime you want,” Liam offers, wonders if that was a bit too forward.

He decides it wasn’t when Zayn’s face splits into a smile, “I’d love to, but I don’t think Pez will spare me. She’s pretty bossy, I already get on her nerves with my irregular schedule.”

“Well, that’s not completely true,” Perrie says from behind and Liam can swear that he hadn’t seen her approaching, it’s really like she had just appeared out of thin air as she comes to stand next to Zayn, “I’d spare him but he has been late every day, since the last two weeks. And how long has he been working here? Oh wait, since two weeks.”

“Guilty as charged,” Zayn raises his hands in front of him, palms facing Perrie as he grins cheekily at her. It seems like he’s really good friends with her, Liam doesn’t know how he feels about that information.

“And I’m not bossy,” Perrie pouts at him, “I save your ass from getting fired and you love me. Because I am pretty lovable.” 

“Haha, yeah. All of that. Plus, increasingly annoying,” Zayn sniggers.

“Really I am annoying, really?” and with that she throws her arm around his neck to pull him down and plants a sloppy kiss on Zayn’s cheek as the boy scrunches his eyes close.

And he looks adorable like that, his face bunching up, he looks so cute Liam wants to place a kiss somewhere on him too. And also, he wants Perrie to move like five feet away from him, because that white arm going around Zayn’s neck looks very out of place. And then, his heart is grabbed with a dreadful feeling, because what if- what if Perrie and Zayn aren’t just friends and what if he’s here for no reason at all, what if Zayn isn’t even interested in boys.

Fuck, and he feels so stupid, because he doesn’t even know Zayn and in his head, he’s already his- no. Liam doesn’t do that. He doesn’t even do boyfriends and he doesn’t get why he’s thinking about all this right now. He only ever dates the coolest, richest, popular people around town because he has a reputation to keep at school and that too for less than a month, because Liam doesn’t do relationships.

“So, would you guys like to have something else?” Perrie asks when her short cuddling session with Zayn is over and she returns her attention to the nearly empty glass in Liam’s hand.  

“No really thanks. We would just like to pay and leave. Getting late, me and Louis, we have a project to work on,” Liam says hastily, putting the cup down.

Louis who was scanning Zayn from head to toe a few minutes ago jerks into attention at that and gives Liam a questioning glance, “Yeah yeah. I almost forgot about the huge, very serious project we have to do.”

“What project?” Niall asks, getting up from his chair anyway, just as Louis does.    
  
“You don’t know,” Liam grunts, “It’s for science.” 

He quickly digs out a dollar bill from his pocket turning to face Zayn and Perrie again. Zayn is just staring at him, face turned into a little frown. Liam doesn’t have time to think about it, he kind of wants to get away, clear his head, and knock some sense into himself.

“How much?” he asks.  

“You pay over there,” Perrie points towards the cash register and Liam nods as he walks past them. Perrie follows. And Zayn is left with Louis and Niall, just standing with his hands in his pockets. Liam quickly pays, and then returns, doesn’t even look at Zayn as he mutters an inaudible goodbye, grabbing Louis’ arm and drags him out of the door.  Niall in tow, chocolate donuts in both hands.

—-  
  
“Will you explain to me what just happened?” Louis asks, once they are back in the car again, driving home.

Liam, sitting in the passenger seat, fidgets with his hands on his lap as a response. He can't help but regret convincing Louis to drive all the way to the bakery just to watch a girl cling to Zayn. Because that view just opened up a lot of possibilities in Liam's mind that weren't there last night and he wants them to shove them all back where they came from.

“Li,” Niall says a little worriedly from the back. Liam can detect that tone of concern and that’s never good because Niall rarely takes anything seriously, “Is something actually wrong? You know you can tell us.”

“It's nothing,” Liam says, “I was just not being myself for a few seconds there.”

“I really don't understand what that means,” Niall says, Louis shakes his head.

“Last night, mom sent me to get some stuff from the bakery and I met Zayn,” Liam explains, having on other choice, “And like he gave me coffee, free of charge, just because I had casually said I was cold. And like that was pretty nice, so I thought, you know, maybe we could be friends. That's why I took you guys there today, to meet him.”

“He gave you a free cup of coffee Liam, big deal,” Niall says from the back.

But that's not it, Liam doesn't care if it was just a free cup of coffee. It was just that after a long time in Liam's life, someone had been nice to him in exchange for nothing. Usually, at school, whenever a person does him a favor, they always want something in return. Free passes to the basket ball game, a place in the basket ball team. Every time someone acts like they want to be friends with Liam, it's because they want to have free access to his house parties, want to be popular by being Liam Payne's friend. But Zayn, Zayn doesn't even know him. Doesn't even go to his school, has no chance of knowing what Liam's life is, and yet, he had been nice to him. Having no ulterior motive behind his gesture. But Liam doesn't discuss any of that with Louis or Niall, actually, he doesn't want to talk about Zayn at all.

“He clearly isn't our type though,” Liam says, “So it's better to just forget about it.”

“How is he clearly not our type, may I ask?” Louis inquires.

“I don't know, he just gives off that vibe I don't like,” Liam shrugs, “Like he's just you know, the bad guy types, like that group in school, always sneaking weed in, that group we don't talk to? He looks like he is that kind of a person. Also, he just appeared out of nowhere, right? I don't think we can trust him. I was really just being foolish even going back there, but thank god I realized on time. Now please, let’s never talk about this again.”

Both his friends don't say anything but he doesn't miss it when Louis throws Niall a look in the rear view mirror. Liam can also hear Niall’s incessant foot tapping from behind. He knows they both want to say something, but they aren't.

“Okay, you can say what you want to,” he permits them, because the silence in the car is only making him uneasy.

“Personally,” Niall says, “He didn't give me that vibe that you're talking about. That group at school is just weird, and not because of the weed, but because of the way they act, like they're not from this planet, waiting for some UFO to come pick them up. Zayn was pretty normal compared to that.”

“And, personally, I think you're lying,” Louis adds, “You didn't want to be friends with him, so don't give me that crap. The way you were looking at him Liam, it was clear you were imagining how he would look with your dick inside him.”

Liam forgets how to breathe for a second because _the image_ \- fuck. That wasn’t what he had thought of! No, not at all. He wasn't thinking that at all. Usually, with everyone else he finds attractive, the first thing that comes to his mind is along those lines. Always something sexual; how they would look underneath him, behind him, above him. But with Zayn, no. With Zayn he had thought about how their hands would intertwine. How Zayn's palm would feel like pressed against his, how his hair would feel like under his chin? How Zayn's arms would go around his waist if they hugged, how he'd kiss Zayn's forehead every time they said goodbye? How would they look together in a selfie, how would they look cuddled up on a sofa watching a movie?

Which is weird, completely abnormal. Because he doesn't even know Zayn, he met Zayn last night! And he's thinking all these cheesy thoughts about someone who he literally just met? Turns out Louis was right, something is definitely wrong with him.

“Liam, I just made a statement, I didn't expect you to play the entire sex scene in your mind,” Louis’ voice distracts him, just as Niall chuckles in the back seat.

“There is no sex scene,” Liam says, shaking his head, “Let's just forget about what happened okay?”

“Stop lying Payno,” Niall says from behind, “You have literally shagged more people than any average nineteen year old student. So if you're telling me you haven't thought of doing Zayn yet, that will be bullshit. Actually, you know what, you probably should make a move on him, just to check if he agrees to sleep–”

Liam tunes him out. There is no stopping Niall when he is in the mood to tease Liam about his sex life. It's true, Liam just turned nineteen last August and he does have casual sex now and then. But it's okay, right? Everyone in last year of school experiments, everyone in their last year shags somebody! Liam has done it a lot but that's because he is in the basketball team and attends/throws a lot of parties. He meets a lot of people, they get drunk, stuff happens and Liam isn't ashamed of it. He likes it. All of it. Niall says he's addicted but he knows he's not.

And when he saw Zayn, a part of him had expected to spend the night thinking about the things he'd do to Zayn. But he had even surprised himself because all he really wanted to do was to know Zayn, inside and out. He had spent the night wondering what Zayn liked and what he didn't, why he started working at the bakery, did he like cooking, was it a hobby – the night had been pretty long.

And now a part of him is a bit scared, he doesn't know why but it is. He can still hear Niall's voice in the background and he knows Louis is throwing him worried glances, but he keeps staring out the window, everything inside him a haphazard mess. He really needs to figure himself out. Figure out what's going on with him, before he completely loses his mind.

—-

“he’s into you.”

“for the last time, stop it.”

“he’s into you. i am ready to bet on all my dogs.”

“i don’t want your twenty dogs.”

“okay, they are eight dogs not twenty, and you won't get them anyway because i’m one hundred percent right. he is into you. way, _way_ into you.”

“perrie. can i concentrate?”

“you’re baking a pie. i could do that with one hand, while reading a book and one of my eyes closed. it doesn’t even need concentration.”

“brilliant, then why don't you do it instead of me?”

“because i just got a manicure and i don't want to mess up my nails,” she flashes her hand at him, long fake nails, painted a peach pink.

“fine,” zayn says, “go put this in the oven.”

“if you want me to get lost, ask me to get lost, do not make me do things!”

“okay, get lost then?”

“no. first tell me what you’re going to do about him?”

“what do you get paid for like really,” he asks, he doesn’t want to talk to perrie right now, because she’s just putting thoughts into his head that he doesn’t have time for, “all you do is sit around all day and bug me!”

“this is my father’s bakery, i don’t get paid remember?” she reminds him, from the counter she’s perched on, as he adds final touches to the apple pie he’s making, “and one day i am going to own this place anyway, so i can do whatever i want.”

“if you keep distracting me though, the customers won’t get their service on time, and your bakery will have become a flop when the time comes for you to own it,” zayn says.

perrie feigns offense, carefully grabbing a fistful of dry flour in her hand and throwing it over zayn’s head.

“hey, hey, not my hair, i shampooed today,” zayn tries to shield his face.

“shampooed,” perrie starts to giggle, “you just said pooed, you’re so cute! no wonder liam’s into you.”

“will you stop, he’s not "into" me!”

“okay, but what about the fact that he is?”

“i am just going to ignore you and go put this pie in the oven myself.”

“you literally don’t think he’s into you, or are you just playing dumb?”

“stop following me around. everyone already thinks we are dating.” 

“you know i’d never date you, so who cares what everyone else thinks?”

“don’t act like you’re not just bugging me because you have a crush on me.”

“ah! that’s true, it’s horrible how you’ll never return my feelings because i’m not liam,” perrie mocks.

“oh my god, okay,” zayn says, having put the pie in the oven and facing his annoying friend, “let’s have this conversation.”

“yes, let’s!” she jumps on the counter again, zayn leans against the oven across from her.

“why do you think he likes me?”

“i just know guys, i know how they act when they’re around people they have a crush on.”

“and how do they act?”

“like they’re the dumbest creatures on this earth,” she says.

“liam wasn’t acting dumb,” zayn points out, “he was– okay.”

“oh trust me, liam barely ever comes here but i know him form whenever he makes an appearance,” perrie says, “his family has always lived here, i know his mom really well, almost everyone knows who he is. elegant, confident, smart. but the guy that came in yesterday, asking around for you, stuttering on his words, wasn’t liam.”

“what do you mean liam barely ever comes here?”

“well, before yesterday, the last time i saw him here was last summer or something.”

“he told me he and his friends hung out here almost every other day,” zayn says.

perrie’s eyes go round, as she jumps off the counter, excitedly, “confirmed, two thousand percent, no room of doubt, he loves you!”

“pez–”

“he lied, he doesn’t ever come here,” she’s smiling so widely, as she skips over to him, “i actually saw that one guy with him yesterday for the first time in my life! and in just two days he’s spent more time here than he has all his life! because of you!”

“he just came here to thank me,” he tries to reason, but he can’t even convince himself right now.

“bullshit,” she says, “the way he looked at you, that wasn’t just gratitude!”

“yeah, and you know that because you’ve done a course in reading male facial expressions.”

“stop making fun of me,” she says, “take this seriously, liam payne likes you! it’s a huge deal, what’re you going to do?”

“nothing?”

“whyy?”

“because i don’t give a shit?”

“okay, then you aren’t expecting to see him again, even a little bit?” 

“why would i?”  

“because i know you are. just like he was expecting to see you today and made a lame excuse to pay you back just to find out if you’re here or not.” 

“he– what?” 

“oh oh oh, i forgot to tell you–” 

“he wanted to pay me back?” 

“yeah. except that that was just a lame excuse!”

“why didn’t you tell me this before?” 

“i have been telling you this since the past half hour.“ 

“no you haven’t.” 

“didn’t i say he’s into you?”  

“how is that– you know what, forget it. please tell me you did tell him he doesn’t have to pay me back?”

“um, i said he could wait for you and talk to him yourself?”

“he didn’t say anything about paying me back to me?”

“yeah, because that was just an excuse to see you, you dummy! how many times do i have to say this?”

“but then he just walked out like that, didn’t even say goodbye, which was rude if you ask me. if you like someone, you just don’t walk past them as if you don’t notice them.”

“yeah, that bit was weird,” perrie says, solemnly.

“so, yeah, i don’t think he likes me, you’re just in over your head,” he says, “now let me work.”

“i am actually going to find out why he did that,” perrie says.

“no, you aren’t let it go,” he says.

before perrie can speak, his phone rings, lying on the counter away from the eatables. perrie reaches it before he can, and her face lights up when she sees who it is.

“it’s harry! perfect timing,” she says flipping it open, “i am going to discuss liam with him, while you get the buns ready.”

“pez no, pez!”

“oh hey harry, guess what?”

—-

Liam doesn’t think about Zayn at all. Not when he goes to sleep that night. Or when he drives back from school the other day, past the god damn bakery. Or when he completely fucks up basketball practice, Liam doesn’t think of Zayn.

Except all the times that he does think about him. And the thought is constant. And it’s haunting. And this has never happened before; nothing has ever gotten him this confused or this conflicted or this unlike himself or this anxious.

He doesn’t go to the bakery again though, figures if he stays away, he’ll stop thinking about the boy. One week passes, two weeks. Three weeks. And he’s really not even thinking about Zayn one day when he’s changing into his maroon jersey in the team’s locker room, when he hears something that makes him freeze.

“–he definitely isn’t from here, because I would have known if he was. I haven’t seen a boy look so damn good in a baker’s uniform, he’d look even better without it!”

“I heard he’s Asian,” another voice says, “Sara told me he shifted here like two months ago from Yorkshire, father is in the city, he lives with his mother and sisters

“I really don’t care about his family background man,” the first voice says, “I just want to know if he is into dick or not, because if he is, then let’s just say, that I am wasting my time sitting here talking about him and not fucking him.”

There’s combined laughter after that, sound of a high five follows.

“I could find that out for you,” the second voice says, “Sara’s sister is a good friend of someone at the bakery, she must know.”

“Dude, if you do that for me, and I’ll owe you a big one!”

And Liam doesn’t know why, but he finds himself walking around the lockers, to where the guys are sitting on benches, trying their shoelaces. He recognizes them, both the guards of his team; Fred and Clark. He has had a lot of conversations with them, they have made fun of people together, have even discussed their sex lives. He’s close to everyone on his team, it just happens when you spend more than half of your week practicing with the same bunch of guys.

“Yeah, I couldn’t help overhearing you guys,” Liam says, as he grins at them, like he normally would, “I saw that guy too, his name’s Zayn right?”

“Zayn Malik, yeah,” Fred smirks, “Looks like you’ve got eyes on him too, but remember Liam, I am first in line. So you don’t even think about asking him out first!”

Liam swallows the sudden bitterness in his mouth, “Wouldn’t matter even if I did, cuz I heard he is not into guys,” Liam lies, “He’s dating some blonde chick who works with him in the bakery.”

Fred’s face falls, “What? How’d you know that?”

“Niall is friends with her. He found it out for me,” he doesn’t know when he became such a convincing liar.

“Well, that’s just unfortunate,” Fred says.

“I know, man. I felt exactly how you’re feeling when I found out,” Liam says, wants to pat Fred’s back but doesn’t think he’ll ever touch him again.

“Are you sure though?” Fred asks.

“Yeah man,” Liam says, “Niall wouldn’t lie to me, you can confirm it with him yourself if you want.”

“Nah, I believe you,” Fred shrugs, as Clark thumps his back, just as the sound of the coach’s whistle blows through the locker room.

As Liam walks out of the locker room, Fred and Clark muttering about something in front of him, he can't help but smile to himself. The thing is, he knows the kind of guy Fred is; the one who is all about taking, not giving. The one who is as hard and careless inside as he is outside. If Liam wasn't his friend, Liam would describe him as a douche bag.

And yeah, he doesn't really give a shit about Zayn anymore but he doesn't want Fred to even touch Zayn. Not because he is into Zayn or anything, but because Zayn had been nice to him and he was going to return the gesture by keeping a guy like Fred away from him. If it had been any other guy in place of Fred, Liam would have honestly just let him go ahead and try his chances with Zay– no. No, actually Liam would have not. He can't even think about it, he can't even lie to himself about it like he has been lying about a lot of other things.

He just can't.

—-  
  
honestly, he hates perrie.

he thought harry was the worst best friend ever, but that was before he had met perrie. because hands down, she is the worst.

if she hadn't talked continuously about liam and hadn't bugged him, if she hadn't put those thoughts in his head, he wouldn't be sitting here thinking about him.

only two times he had seen liam, one of those times liam had lied to him, and the second time liam had acted strangely. how can that even mean that liam likes him? perrie was literally pulling shit out of her ass.

but like liam had nice eyes though, and his voice was– really soft, it just didn't go with what he has heard about liam in the last few days. it was like so soft you could have dipped something into it. and his nose was cute, which is saying something because zayn doesn't find a lot of things cute, specially not noses. but liam's nose sat on his face complimenting all his features perfectly; the wide forehead, the smooth cheeks, the dark brown eyes, plump lips and just in the middle of it all a beautiful chubby, cute nose.

something about liam told him, he wasn't as bad as everyone made him out to be. zayn had heard whatever perrie dug up on him, zayn heard a few students at his school even talk about the shooter of the rival basketball team, when he started listening. and the only reason he wanted to know liam more, was because he wanted to prove that liam wasn't all that bad.

why he wanted to prove it so badly? that, he didn't understand.

—-  
  
The next time Liam goes to the bakery, it's because of Niall. It is a week before Christmas, the winter holidays are around the corner, and Niall had a tiring day at school. So he really just wants to have a great cup of coffee, and he's settling for none except Perrie's.

Liam asks Louis to drop him off at home first because he's got work but Louis just denies, ‘ _you expect me to drop niall off at the bakery, go and drop you off at your house, then come back to pick niall up, and then drop niall off? in case you might have forgotten liam, i am not your chauffeur_.’

Three minutes later he had found himself walking into the bakery, eyes cast down, as he tried to straighten his pale blue hoodie and faded, old jeans wishing he had dressed a bit better today. Niall was at already up at the counter to order their stuff. He took a seat, choosing the one that made him face away from the counter, so that he wouldn't have to look at Zayn. Because he's trying to forget him, and looking at him again would just fuck up the progress he thinks he has made.

Soon Niall walks back to them, sitting on his seat beside Liam. Louis right in front of them.

“Ordered three cups of coffee, eight mint chocolate chip donuts,” Niall says, “Two for each of you and four for myself, because I am famished.”

Liam wants to ask him if Zayn was there, on the counter, but he know that would make them suspicious so he doesn't. Also he already does doubt Louis knowing something about how he actually feels about Zayn, and he really doesn't want to confirm anything for him.

Louis and Niall get into an easy conversation about school stuff and Liam tries to block their voices out, straining his ears to detect another voice. The deep, thick one with a distinct accent. One that could reveal if Zayn was there behind him somewhere. And if he was, why wasn't he coming over to say hi?

He is unable to hear it though, just a few _chachings_ of the cash register and the murmurs of other people around them is all he hears. And then a black tray; three cups of coffee and a heap of chocolate donuts, is being placed on the table, in front of him and he looks up to find Perrie serving them.

“Here's your food,” she says, and then her eyes fall on Liam, going round for a second before she's patting his shoulder playfully and saying, “Oh hey! Liam, how've you been? Been a long time since your last visit?”

“Hey,” he says, not really in the mood to talk for some reason, “Yeah, was busy with practices and other stuff.”

“Oh. Well, I'm glad to see you. Just ask for me if you guys need anything else,” she says to all of them and then to Liam, “And I know you would have liked to meet Zayn, but sadly he isn't here. Next time, maybe.”

“Why, is he alright?” Liam asks before he can stop himself, it's just that he needs to know.

“Oh yeah, he's good. It's just that his monthly exams are going on these days,” she says, “He was extra nervous about them all the time, bringing books into the kitchen, so I gave him a short break. He'll be here on Christmas Eve though; we are doing this charity thing for the first time, so you can come meet him then if you want!”

“What charity thing?” Niall asks, he's got chocolate on his lips, a donut in his hand.  
  
“Oh, like it was Zayn's idea, that we raise funds and feed the poor, the homeless on Christmas' eve, so we are like raising money. And then we'll bake everything up, and go around distributing it to whoever is hungry and in need,” she says, “I am pretty excited about it, since we have never done anything like this before! And like, you guys can even help out if you want! It's an open invitation for everyone.”

“What can we do to help?” Louis asks.

“Well you can donate, just put some money on that box by the door when you go out,” she smiles sweetly, “Or you can volunteer, just be here at like 7PM on the 24th, and you can help us distribute some bread and some happiness.”

“We'll check if we're free, then we'll be here,” Louis says.

And Liam knows Louis is lying because there is no way in hell Louis would come, it's the 24th, it's Louis' birthday, he wouldn't spend his birthday doing charity work, and so Liam doesn't object, just nods his head along with Niall.

—-  
  
“i don't want to believe you right now,” zayn says into the phone, lying on his bed, his math text book perched open on his stomach, “please tell me you are joking, and you did no such thing?”

“i am one hundred percent serious,” perrie says from the other end.

“why would do that, why would you invite him?” zayn asks, frustrated, “what is wrong with you?”

“she did you a favor,” harry says, and having been quiet for so long while perrie related to them how she had met liam, zayn had actually forgotten he was in a conference call and harry was listening in, “now you have a chance to get to know liam.”

“if he shows up,” zayn adds, “which he won't because nobody wants to spend their christmas eve doing charity work! inviting him was just a stupid and he probably would have laughed at us with his friends.”

“okay even if he did laugh,” perrie asks, “what is it the matter to you?”

“it's just– i don't know okay, i am just saying you shouldn't have invited him because there was no point.”

“he has a crush on liam, pez,” harry chuckles, “write it down somewhere, so that when he finally admits it i can shove it in his face.”

“on it,” perrie says, and there is an actual sound of papers ruffling and zayn just sighs.

“i don't have a crush on him, i have literally seen the guy two times in my life, i don't know him!”

“that's why it's a crush,” harry says, “we have crushes on people when we don't know them. and once we do get to know them, it's not a crush anymore; it's something more than that, something close to love i guess.”

“or something before love,” perrie adds, “like you know how engagement is a stage before marriage, it's like that. a stage before actually falling in love, but close enough.”

“nicely put,” harry says, “and very right.”

“yeah, and you know all this because both of you have done a doctorate in pretty much everything,” zayn says sardonically.

“well, no, we are just experienced in these kind of things,” harry replies.

“harry, you literally have a secret boyfriend who none of us even know the name of, like sometimes i think he doesn't even exist. and perrie, last time you had a boyfriend, somewhere in the world people were celebrating because two men had rubbed two stones together and accidentally invented fire.”

“being in love does make him a bit mean, harry,” perrie says, “you were right about that.”

“when am i not right?” harry asks.

zayn snorts when perrie laughs, “anyway, bye boys, this is where i hang up. i have to calculate how much we have raised for the charity.”

“oh, okay, see you later,” zayn says, as perrie says goodbye and then there's only him and harry.

“you seriously think i lie about having a boyfriend?” harry says in a solemn voice once he’s sure perrie has left, “that i would lie to _you_?”

“no i don't,” zayn begins, “but you can't blame me for thinking about it at times, okay? i have never seen the guy, i have only ever read a letter from him, which wasn't even signed properly. like it just said from l, like who's l? you could at least give me a name haz?”

“alright chill,” harry says, “i'll tell you his name, scratch that, hopefully i'll introduce you two when i come visit you on new year's.

“you'll bring him along?” zayn asks, curious.

“nope,” harry says, “i hope to find him there.”

it takes a small moment for zayn to understand, “he lives here?”

“well, he used to when i did, let's hope he still does.”

“are you telling me, that you don't even know where this l guy even lives? have you been even in contact with him all these years?”

“not exactly,” harry says in a timid voice.

“harry– i swear to god, what–”

“he didn't reply to the letters i sent him,” harry says, “maybe he was just angry i moved, he was like that. didn't talk to me until he got what he wanted, maybe when i come back, he forgives me.”

“if he's even here!” zayn says.

“he will be,” harry says, a confidence in his voice that makes zayn wish he's still here too, “i know it, just two more weeks until we find out.”

“two more weeks until i see you,” zayn sighs, he misses his friend, literally the only friend he misses from back home, “i wish you could have made it here before christmas, though.

“i wish so too, but i have got work,” harry says, “also i have to visit my mum; you know how much she worries when i don't.”

“yeah,” zayn recalls, chuckling at a fading memory, “see you on new year’s then. can't wait to meet your l.”

“and i can't wait to finally meet yours,” harry says, a hint of cheekiness in his voice.

“my l? who's my l?” zayn asks, confused.

“mhmmhmm,” harry hums.

and then zayn gets it, “oh my god, my l, liam– he's not– forget it, goodbye you shit.”

he hangs up, cutting off the sound of harry's laughter that pours out of the phone.

—-

They're in his room; all three of them. He's on the bed, Louis beside him, both of their eyes glued to the LCD screen in front of them which is connected to an Xbox, controllers in both of their hands. This is their third and final game (he had won the first, louis had killed him in the second) and this will decide who the the winner is.

Niall is standing by the small window in his room, beside his dresser, a telescope clutched in his hands as he squints into it, searching the skies for something. There's not much else in his room, a desk on the left side, a closet, the door the bathroom beside it and various superhero posters covering the walls. Three basketballs lie in the corner, his most prized possession besides the LCD and the Xbox.

“You know what?” Niall says, just as Louis kicks the ball into the net, “It's so fucking unfair.”

Liam doesn't want to reply because he's busy trying to equal the score. Louis doesn't reply either, having full control over the ball.

“If you ignore me like this, I'll pull the fucking plug,” Niall says.

“What– what's unfair?” Louis asks, instantly.

“That Pluto isn’t considered a planet anymore?” Niall says.

“You can see Pluto through that fake thing?” Louis asks.

“No,” Niall says, “I can’t see shit through this; I was just thinking you know? Like how would you feel if you were a planet for all of your life, and suddenly you weren’t because you were too small?”

“I am not too small, I am 5'9'',” Louis says, just as Liam scores.

“Yeah, and I am Victoria Beckham,” Niall says, making Liam laugh.

Louis makes an annoyed sound, Liam kicks the ball into the net one more time. They play then for ten more minutes, and Niall just roams around, trying to find things to do until he just falls on the bed, bored.

“Can we do something else? That involves me too?” he asks, picking up a stray sock lying on the bed and throwing it at Louis’ head.

“There is nothing else to do,” Louis says.

“What’re we doing for your birthday this year?” Niall asks.

“That’s already decided, we’re going to that charity event at the bakery,” Louis says.

Instantly, Liam pauses the game and turns to Louis, “What?”

Louis gives him a questioning gaze, “What, what?”

“When did we decide we were going to the charity event?”

“When Perrie told us we could come and help out?”

“But– but it’s your birthday that day? Aren’t we celebrating at your place like always?”

“Nah, my mom’s working so I don’t want to burden her to arrange everything, the girls have parties to attend so I thought we’d spend my birthday at the bakery,” Louis explains, “Also, I asked Perrie and she said she’d arrange a cake for me, so we can celebrate there. She said it’d be fine.”

Liam doesn’t really know what to say, he had told himself he’d not have to see Zayn ever again, he was doing okay. He had found a way to cope with whatever his heart feels for Zayn without actually approaching Zayn; he has started learning about Zayn.

Not in the creepy stalker kind of way, the only stalking he has done is that he tried to find Zayn on Facebook and Instagram. He was unsuccessful in both his attempts. He had found Perrie, but even going through her profile was of no use. There was no sign of Zayn anywhere.

So he had resigned to the old way, keeping his ears open and staying updated of all the gossip. The thing is, he lived in a small town. That consisted of only two prestigious schools; there were other schools, but just not well acclaimed. One of the school's was Liam's, on the west side, and the other was on the east side. The rival school. And Zayn went there.

Usually, Liam’s school didn’t give a shit about whatever was going over at the other school, but the thing with Zayn was, that he worked at the bakery. And the bakery was open to every student, no matter which school they went to. So obviously, the students talked about Zayn, wishing he was at their institute. So Liam kept his ears open at all times, after the locker room incident he had made sure he stayed alert. Kept himself updated with all the new gossip.

So far he had learnt that Zayn lived with his mum and sisters on the other side of town, his father worked in the city. They had moved due to a financial loss, and Zayn had to work to help his mother out. Perrie was a friend of one of Zayn’s friends, and that is how he had bagged the job at the bakery. The rumors about Zayn and Perrie were all over the place, and they were wild. Liam knew he had a huge part to play in that.

Anyway, so he was coping pretty well. He hadn’t felt the need to see Zayn again, even though his heart picked up speed whenever he was near the bakery. Nervous because he might spot Zayn, mouth dry because what would he say if he ran into him.

And he's actually pretty proud of himself for hiding this from his best friends for so long. He knows that Louis sometimes suspects something is up but until Louis says something, he doesn't really have to answer. But now, Louis was literally dragging him into fire, and he can’t say no because he doesn’t want to ruin Louis’ birthday. He knows he is going to walk into hell with his own feet this time, and he is afraid he might not be able to pull himself back.

—-

he puts the box down; it’s full of little brown bags containing muffins and spice buns. they had raised enough money to bake almost three hundred bread items, and zayn feels really glad because he had worked his ass off since last night, his fellow workers beside him, and the end product seems satisfying.

they’re outside the bakery, waiting for more people to come. perrie, dressed in a blue sweater and white pants, is standing beside him, a paper in her hands as she marks off everyone who is here, and everyone who isn’t. two of his coworkers are with them; boxes by their feet, most of them have already left to distribute food.

“they won’t come,” he tells her, knowing very well, the three names that aren’t market yet, on perrie’s list, “we’re waiting for nothing.”

“stop telling me that every two seconds,” she says, “and let’s just wait for ten more minutes okay?”

“it's just cold,” he says sheepishly, “and the bread is getting cold too.”

“i know, i am also freezing my tits off here,” perrie says, agitated, “but we need those guys, otherwise we'll have to distribute these three boxes ourselves as well and that's going to take us more time. you know i wouldn't be waiting for them if it wasn't important.”

“yeah, yeah, okay,” he sighs. she's genuinely worried so he decides not to tell her how he still thinks they won't show up, lighting a cigarette to keep himself warm.

he had put on the warmest clothes he had; a red wooly hoodie; a thick black tick mark sown across the chest area, and his thickest blue trousers. a maroon beanie was pushed all the way down to his forehead, double covering of socks and blue joggers. yet somehow, he doesn't feel warm enough.

minutes pass in silence, and perrie gets more restless by the second. they're the ones only left now; their remaining coworkers have already left. this is too much really, and he's about to tell perrie that he's had enough, he can't just stand there and wait for people who aren't going to show up when perrie startles him with a squeal.

“they're here, oh thank god!”

and yes they are, zayn realizes, as his eyes fall on the three boys he really wasn't expecting to see tonight. louis is in the middle, a blue scarf around his neck, a green sweater with a reindeer on it, blue pants, no socks and white sneakers. niall is beside him, on his left, clad in a similar sweater but it's blue instead of green. he's wearing a white woolen hat on his head, white joggers and grey trousers. and liam, on louis' right, but an inch behind him. he's wearing a leather jacket, open in the front, a familiar reindeer on his chest. his sweater is red. he is sporting light blue jeans, brown boots underneath. his short hair fall on his head, looking so soft, a deep shade of brown, little curls at the ends.

“you guys are pretty late,” perrie says, approaching them.

“i know and i'm sorry,” louis says, “someone was throwing a tantrum because they didn't want to wear the sweater my mother so lovingly knitted for them. but i'm not taking names.”

louis doesn't have to take names, because he throws a very obvious glance at liam, who gives him an incredulous look, like he can't believe louis is telling them this.

“oh, that's cute,” perrie says, “anyway, we have to get going now. niall you pick that box up, and louis that's yours. you both are coming with me, we're going west. and zayn you pick that box up, you and liam are going east.”

the cigarette nearly falls from his mouth at that, there is no way in hell he's going with–

“why can't i go with louis and niall?” liam says, and he clearly looks as shocked as zayn feels.

he is going to kill perrie, he swears.

“because the manager paired you and zayn together, nothing i can do about it,” perrie makes an innocent face at liam.

the _manager_? the manager– fuck perrie is the fucking manager.

“c'mon it's not like you'll have to go and live with zayn forever and not see us again,” louis grins at him, as he and niall pick up the boxes from the snowy ground, “you'll be back in an hour or so.”

“and you don’t have to look so horrified, i am pretty sure zayn isn’t a kidnapper or serial killer or something,” niall says in a playful voice, throwing an inquisitive glance at perrie.

“yeah, he’s not, i can assure you,” perrie chuckles, “so you'll be safe, liam.”

niall chuckles at that. and zayn mouths a ‘i hate you’ at perrie. because liam clearly doesn't want to go with him, and he doesn't even have to. zayn would rather go alone after what he has seen. but perrie is just adamant to prove he has some kind of a fairy tale crush on zayn, and he can't wait to rub in her face how wrong she is, even when a part of him wishes that she isn't.

perrie, niall and louis leave. and there is silence between him and liam that he can't take, so he just throws his cigarette in a trash can nearby, sighs, bends down and picks the box up. he doesn't want to talk to liam, doesn't know what to say, never knows what to say, so he's glad when liam speaks first.

“i am sorry about what niall said,” liam says, “he was just being funny, i know you’re not a serial killer.”

“i didn’t mind that, it’s cool,” zayn shrugs, “i am sorry you got stuck with me, though.”

“nah,” liam says, walking over to him, “i don’t mind that, it’s cool.”

zayn wants to contradict him, wants to say that he had very much seen the horrific look on liam’s face when perrie had told him he was going with liam, but he doesn’t. he doesn’t want to hear liam’s excuses, and he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable. he just wants liam to help him do the job, and he just wants this night to end so he can get home and ponder over why his heart is trying to break some speeding record in his chest.

they start walking, turning corner after corner, none of them really speak. liam is chewing gum, and he walks beside him with his hands in his pockets. zayn often feels him glancing at him, but not once does he dare to check. they find a family by a streetlight, and zayn stands with the box in his hands while liam digs out paper bags from it, lips pursed, snowflakes stuck on his eyelashes, and hands them to the mother and her three kids. they walk away, listening to her sending blessing their way.

ahead, they find a mother and child sitting under a shop window, two old men resting on rusty benches, a woman with a small baby, sitting cross legged on the sidewalk, and three little children running down a road, wearing clothes so thin.

and then, when they’re on some other street, which is less busy than the others, liam speaks again, “c’mon give me the box, you must be tired.”

liam reaches out for the box but zayn backs away, shaking his head, “no, it’s okay. i am good.”

“yeah, but it’s my turn to hold it,” liam insists, “you’ve been holding it for so long.”

this time liam doesn’t give him a chance to back away or respond, he comes in front of him, slides his hands under the box, right above zayn’s. and zayn is frozen, because he doesn’t know what to do, liam’s palms are so large and warm, completely covering his cold hands and liam looks up at him, from under snowy lashes, eyes unmoving, as if he’s frozen too.

liam’s wide eyes burn into his for a minute too long before something inside him kicks him, and he realizes he is actually capable of moving. hastily, he slides his hands out from under liam’s. and he turns away instantly, rubbing his hands awkwardly, trying not to look at liam because what just happened, he can’t even properly comprehend it himself, “uh- yeah, you take the box then, yeah.”

when liam doesn’t say anything, he slightly turns his head towards him and liam is still looking at him, but he’s got wrinkles on his forehead. the moment their eyes meet this time though, liam averts his gaze, turning around, and saying, “yeah, we’ve got three more streets to go to. then back to the bakery.”

silently, zayn starts walking behind him, covering his footsteps in the snow with his own. he is still cold all over, but his hands are burning, right where liam touched him. he’s self aware of the warmth, can still feel the slight roughness of liam’s palms all over the dorsal. silence stretches between them again, and zayn doesn’t even mind it this time. because he doesn’t trust himself to speak in front of liam right now.

he’s confused as to why liam touching his hand is affecting him like this, like he can’t forget about it, he just keeps thinking about it. you just don’t keep thinking about it whenever you make normal human contact. like his heart is in a constant state of turmoil, because liam is right in front of him, and his shoulders are too broad, his walk is so- hot. and liam’s cheeks looked so pink when he was facing zayn a few moments ago, like they would feel as warm as his hands felt if zayn touches them. and he low key blames perrie for it all, because she had caused him to think about liam this way, and now he can’t stop. he’s hooked.

“zayn- uh, zayn?”

he jolts his head up, to find liam staring at him, gulps because he doesn’t know when he had become so engrossed in his thoughts, “yeah, what?”

liam gives him a puzzled look before nudging his head to the right where a wrinkly old black woman is sitting wrapped up in a quilt, sheltered under a tree.

“oh,” he realizes, as he takes a step towards liam, grabs five paper bags and and then walks over to the woman, gives them all to her, she smiles up at him, ‘ _thank you’_ and he smiles back, “no problem, and merry christmas.”

“you gave her five bags,” liam says, when he gets back and they start walking again, “i thought it was one per person.”

zayn nods, “i know, but she was alone.”

“so?”

“she doesn’t have anyone to spend christmas with,” he says, “maybe, if she has enough food for today and tomorrow, she doesn’t think about that too much.”

liam is quiet for a moment, zayn expects him to call him stupid or something.

“you’re very nice, you know,” liam says, zayn turns his head to look at him, “i haven’t met a lot of people like you.”

“you haven’t met nice people before?” zayn asks, trying to not feel his heart bloat in his chest.

“i have,” liam says, his lips curved upwards, “just not people who are nice for no reason, or don’t want something in return.”

to be honest, zayn doesn’t know how to reply to that, so he just, “you’re nice too, then.”

“really?” liam asks, raises an eyebrow, “how can you say that?”

“you’re here aren’t you?” zayn says, “spending your christmas eve doing charity.”

liam lets out a short chuckle, “trust me, i wouldn’t be here if louis hadn’t dragged me here though.”

“yeah, but you’re here, and that’s all that’s important,” zayn says, wondering why liam can’t just accept zayn’s compliment like normal people do.

“whatever you say, mate,” liam shrugs, a little smile on his face, “it does feel good to do this, i have to admit.”

“you’re just saying that,” zayn grins at him, playful.

“no i am not,” liam laughs, “yeah, i am not going to lie, throwing louis a huge party and celebrating his birthday at home would have been more fun, but being here isn’t that bad either.”

“it’s louis’ birthday today?” zayn asks.

“yeah,” liam says, “you didn’t know?”

“how would i know?”

“perrie knows,” liam says, “i figured she’d have told you.”

“how does perrie know?”

“louis told her; apparently they’ve been in contact.”

“weird, i didn’t know anything about that,” zayn says, spotting a man on the sidewalk, bundled up in blankets, under a streetlight. he grabs five bags, gives it to him and he can see liam smiling at him from the side of his eyes. it fills his heart with a feeling he can’t begin to describe.

“she even offered to make him a cake for free,” liam tells him when he gets back, “said we all could celebrate at the bakery.”

“oh,” zayn says, frowning, “so, _that’s_ why she was so sure you guys were going to come, and she didn’t even tell me.”

“louis didn’t tell me either,” liam says, “until like two days ago.”

“they had planned everything two days ago? and perrie didn’t tell me?” zayn asks, he’s really confused because why would perrie just offer to bake louis a cake for free, they weren’t exactly friends, “perrie never hides anything from me!”

“uh–, uhm, i am sorry for exposing her then,” liam says, his voice sounds a bit different than how it did a minute ago.

“why’re you sorry?” zayn says, “she’s the one who’s got some explaining to do, really.”

liam just shrugs at him, “okay.” doesn’t say anything else, as they keep walking in search of more people.

its quiet between them again and this time it’s another kind, the one that makes zayn feel like there are things that need to be talked about, that aren’t being talked about. liam just walks silently, pace faster, in front of him and he follows him again. wonders why perrie didn’t tell him she was in contact with louis, what is she doing being friends with louis out of nowhere, to offer him a cake for free – what is she up to? because, zayn is very suspicious right now, and he really does need to talk to her to calm the explosion of questions inside him.

—-

Liam doesn’t like Perrie. He doesn’t at all. He hates how she’s always there, somehow always there even when she’s not.

Like last night for example, he was feeling really good walking alongside Zayn, talking comfortably, and then somehow out of nowhere Perrie had come into conversation and it’s all his fault since he brought her up, but after that Zayn had barely talked to him and everything was once again, ruined. At the bakery, while Louis had cut the chocolate fudge cake and they had clapped for him, Zayn and Perrie had stood together, Perrie’s arm around Zayn’s waist and Liam had tried his best not to glance at it again and again, but he had failed. After the cake, when Perrie had put on some songs, and everyone was chilling, drinking the beer Niall had managed to arrange, Perrie and Zayn were in a corner discussing something animatedly, and Zayn looked massively worried and Louis was talking to him but all Liam remembers is trying to read Zayn’s lips, thinking about ways to remove that frown off his face.

It’s Christmas day, his mother is cooking dinner today in the kitchen, he can hear the pots and pans cranking, can smell the aroma of the food. His sister is supposed to come visit them at night, his dad isn’t home, but then that’s not new. He has nothing to do, he had talked with Niall for two hours on Skype in the morning, then went with his mother to help her get all the stuff she wanted from the market, now it’s three in the afternoon and he is lying on the couch, the TV remote on his chest, as he stares at a blank screen, thoughts a mess. He can’t even open his presents to keep his mind off things because his mom strictly said they were supposed to do that with his sister and her children. He hasn’t even changed; he is still wearing the stupid sweater Louis’ mum had made him, and his grey cotton trouser, feet covered in white socks; his toe sticking out from one of them, he hadn’t even realized that before.

The ring of the doorbell startles him, and he hears his mom shout at him from the kitchen to get the door. He wonders why she isn’t calling one of the many maids they have, but then he realizes they all have days off for Christmas. The bell rings again, his mom shouts again but he doesn’t budge. He just doesn’t want to move, he just feels heavy all over. He just wishes whoever it is just goes away.

When the bell rings again though, he grunts, about to get up when he hears footsteps coming from the kitchen and then he just falls back down again.

“Liam, it wouldn’t kill you to get the door,” his mom says, as she stomps away, disappearing into the foyer. He hears the door open, and then a bright, loud voice. His lips turn upwards at the sound of it.

Louis and his mom come back into the living room, they’re talking in hushed voices and he knows his mom is probably complaining to Louis about his attitude. And his hunches are confirmed when Louis comes over to the couch, throws a thin, brown square cardboard box at him followed by a purple shiny gift paper and a yellow ribbon.

“I just remembered I forgot to get you a present, so I had to go out in this cold weather to grab this,” Louis says, as he lifts Liam’s legs with his hands, making room for himself on the maroon leather couch, sits and then rests Liam’s legs on his thighs, “But I was too tired to wrap it so you do it yourself, and don’t you dare open it before you open all the others.”

“You want me to wrap my own present?” Liam asks, putting the box on the floor, the paper and ribbon on top of it.

“Yeah, wait,” Louis digs into this front pocket of his Adidas hoodie, pulls out a scotch tape, “Here, I also brought tape because I know you have finished yours putting up all those stupid posters in your room.”

“They’re not stupid, okay,” Liam says, taking the tape from him, placing it on top of the ribbon, “They’re cool.”

“As cool as your clothes right now,” Louis says.

“Ok first, you wearing Capri shorts in this weather isn’t cool either,” Liam says, pointing at the black shorts Louis is wearing right now, “And second, your mom made this sweater, let me remind you.”

“You weren’t a big fan of it last night,” Louis says, grinning at him, “But maybe that was because you didn’t want to look like a dork in front of Zayn.”

Liam opens his mouth to retort, and then he closes it back, staring at Louis, eyes wide.

“You don’t have to look so horrified,” Louis says, rolling his eyes, “I know.”

“What do you know?” Liam asks, as he sits up a little, his throat is drying up.

“That you’re in love with Zayn,” Louis whispers, winking at him.

“I am not-,” Liam mutters, “I am not in- what you said. I am not.”

“Okay, but you do want to go out with him,” Louis grins at him, “Like on a proper date, no fucking, only lunch and a movie, probably a kiss.”

Liam licks his lips, he doesn’t know how Louis knows, he didn’t want anyone to know because that made things a bit more real, more serious, “I don’t, what are you even talking about?”

Louis sighs, leans back into the couch, “Really? You’re going to hide this from me then? Listen, Niall might be blind, but I know you better than the back of my hand, I knew you were into him the first day I saw you talking to him, okay? So you can stop pretending with me.”

“Okay,” Liam mutters back, falling back down again, the back of his head hitting the soft arm rest of the couch,  his eyes shifting from Louis to the chandelier on the ceiling, “I do like him, he’s all I can think about. But does it really matter? It’s not like I can do something about it.”

“You pretend to be this cool ass, I don’t give a fuck kind of guy,” Louis comments, “But in real Liam, you’re huge fucking dork.”

Liam sighs. “Whatever Louis, you can make fun of me all you want.”

“I’m your best friend, that’s kind of what I do for a living,” Louis says, “But I am not being funny right now, I swear I mean it. You’re stupid.”

“Are you trying to help me right now?” Liam looks down at him, “Or what? Because I am lost.”

“You’ve been a changed person since the baker boy handed you a free cup of coffee,” Louis says, “And I am not saying I love that change, but it’s not bad.”

“I haven’t changed,” Liam retorts.

“Whatever you say,” Louis shrugs.

Liam looks at him for a moment, then asks, “Okay, how have I changed?”

Louis smirks, “Okay one, you’ve become a convincing liar, which you always were but now you’re also lying to me. Two, you always look like you’re always lost in something and you try too hard to pretend that nobody else notices you. Three, you haven’t won a single game since ages, and that’s because your head is messed up, you never lose. Fourth, you have started drinking coffee, you hate coffee. Five, your internet history shows how many times you have typed Zayn Malik on google, and facebook and–”

“How do you know what my internet history shows?” Liam asks, surprised.

“Well, I only checked it to find what kind of porn you were watching but I am not going to lie, I was heavily disappointed.”

“You check my browser history?” Liam asks again, because- just.

“Sometimes,” Louis admits, “Now do you want me to continue or not?”

“Don’t check my browser history again,” Liam says, “How did you find out my password even, how?”

“You password is brucewayne,” Louis deadpans, “Like that is the most obvious thing in the world Liam! Come on! Let’s not talk about that, let’s talk about Zayn!”

“No, I don’t want to talk about Zayn,” Liam shakes his head, lifting his legs off Louis’ thighs and getting into a sitting position, right shoulder touching Louis’ left, “Just forget about Zayn.”

“I would, if you could,” Louis says, concerned, “Can you, Liam?”

Liam thinks for a moments, he knows the answer; if he could, he would have by no. he sighs, he knows he’s not in a winning position right now.

“That day, when he gave me that stupid cup of coffee,” Liam sighs, “His face, it just got stuck in my head. And like he had these insanely long eyelashes too, like you can’t forget about them. Seeing him again, wasn’t such a good idea either, because it made me realize I wanted to see him again, and again and again. And I don’t know Louis, I don’t know what the fuck I feel, I don’t know.”

“And what you would you have died if you had told me all this before?” Louis huffs.

Liam turns his face to him, “No, I didn’t tell you because I like I said, I am so confused, I don’t even know why I feel all this, nothing makes sense! I have clearly gone mad! Also, I thought you’d just laugh at me.”

“Oh you’re right,” Louis says, “I’d laugh at you if I wasn’t mildly hurt, I am really not _that_ insensitive you know?”

“Well, you did laugh at me when I told you I had kissed Kaley,” Liam says.

“Oh god,” Louis says, “That was because you thought you were in love with her, and we were like ten years old! Also that kiss was a childish dare! She kissed you because it was a stupid dare!”

“Well,” Liam says, “She was pretty serious to me when I was ten!”

“Really? You’re gay Liam, how serious could she have been?”

“I didn’t know I was gay then,” Liam says.

“Okay will you stop,” Louis says, “Stop changing the subject okay, I can’t believe you thought I’d laugh at you! I am offended and I am taking my present back, it was a new basketball hoop for your backyard by the way since you broke the last one! And your dad can’t make you return this one, because it’ is a present! Sorry, was a present!”

“No don’t,” Liam slaps Louis’ hands when Louis tries to grab the box, “I am sorry, it’s just that Zayn works in a bakery and I thought you’d just take a piss at me, I am sorry for thinking that, okay?”

Louis leans back again, then says, looking directly at Liam, “Harry used to work at a bakery.”

Liam blinks at Louis, the gears in his mind turning, as he realizes and then he gasps, “You- you still?”

Louis nods.

“But it’s been so long,” Liam says, leans a bit more to Louis’ side, he literally thought Louis got over Harry after he left town.

“Two years, three months, almost,” Louis sighs. 

Liam blinks back a certain kind of sting in his eyes, just looking at Louis with astonished eyes, lost for words. He had no idea, he feels like such a trashy friend right now.

“That’s why I didn’t want to go to that bakery, why I don’t like to go near bakeries,” Louis says, “They remind me of him.”

“Oh,” Liam gulps guiltily, he had dragged Louis to that bakery, “I am sorry I- I didn’t know. I am sorry, Louis.”

“Yeah no, it’s okay Liam,” Louis says, “You had no way of knowing if I didn’t tell you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because there wasn’t a point,” Louis says, “He was gone, didn’t even reply to my letter, not even my email, he didn’t even give me a phone number, he was just gone. So really, there was nothing to tell.”

“And you’re still not over him?”

“I just have a feeling he’s going to come back,” Louis says, “And I just want to talk to him once, I just need closure. And then, I’ll be over him.”

“What if he doesn’t come back?” Liam asks.

“This is why I didn’t tell you,” Louis smiles sadly at him, “Because I didn’t want you to ask me that question.”

“But you must have thought about it too,” Liam says.

“I have, I have a lot, trust me,” Louis says, “And that is why, I think you should ask Zayn out.”

“I- what? Lol, no thanks. Never.”

“Okay then, give me one good reason why not?” 

“Give me one good reason why?”

“Because if you don’t someone else will,” Louis says, “Or school will end and he’ll go away to uni and you’ll be sat here regretting something that never was.”

He doesn’t have a contradiction to that, deep inside he knows Louis is right.

“Listen Liam, I know you’ve always avoided falling for someone, and I know you’ve never taken relationships seriously,” Louis says, “But trust me, there is nothing wrong with falling for the right person, and Zayn, he just seems like it.” 

“How- you’re saying that- how can you say that?”

“Just trust me on this one,” Louis says.

“I would if you weren’t sounding so absurd,” Liam says, “How do you know he’s the right person when you don’t even know him? You’ve literally never had a conversation with him!”

“Let’s just say, a little bird told me, that he might be into you,” Louis says.

“What?” Liam raises his eyebrow.

“You heard me,” Louis gives him a lopsided grin.

“What bird?”

“I can’t tell you that, I am under an oath.”

“I- you’re not making any sense.”

“For god’s sake Liam,” Louis throws his hand in the air, “Just go ask Liam out, stop wasting everyone’s time!”

“What if he says no? Fuck, what if he’s already dating someone? What if he’s dating Perrie?”

“Oh god,” Louis says, “Perrie hasn’t been in a relationship since ages! So I am pretty sure she isn’t dating Zayn!”

“How- how’d you know that?” Liam asks, suddenly very alert.

“She was telling Niall about that last night,” Louis says, “I was listening!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“Can you call Perrie right now and ask her again?”

“No Liam,” Louis says, “I am doing no such thing, alright? Listen Perrie or no Perrie, it’s time you grew a pair and took a chance, okay? How’re you going to find out if Zayn’s actually into you by sitting here with that look on your face?”

“I am just-”

“Do you really like him?”

“Y- yeah,” Liam mutters, then says it more firmly when Louis raises an eyebrow, “Yes, I really do.”

“Good, then you’re asking him out and I don’t care when you do it or how you do it, I just know that you are. Now, give me that fucking remote, I am so fucking bored!”

Louis leans back again, switching to a food channel and Liam bends to pick up the box from the floor, already trying to figure how he’s going to gain the courage to actually go up to Zayn, a little happier because Zayn isn’t dating Perrie as he begins to wrap his present himself.

—-

Every single day after Christmas, Liam walks towards the bakery. He reaches the bakery and he stands at the door, looking over the OPEN sign, looking at Zayn, dressed head to toe in white, smiling at customers, walking back and forth between the counter and kitchen. And then he would turn around and walk back home, swearing to Louis that he had gone to the bakery but Zayn wasn’t there; ‘ _maybe his exams are still going on_.’

It’s not that Liam doesn’t want to ask Zayn out, it’s just that Liam hasn’t really ever asked anyone out. Even if he has, he hadn’t done it properly. Most people just said yes to him even before he let all his words out, the others asked him out first. But, Zayn. He doesn’t want to screw things with Zayn; he wants to properly ask him out, he wants to do everything right – the only thing he doesn’t know how to.

So he tells himself everyday; ‘ _today is the day liam, today you’re going inside and talking to him_ ’ and he tells himself everyday; ‘ _okay maybe tomorrow, definitely tomorrow_.’ And then, it’s like god gives him a way, and he grabs it.

Its tomorrow; the last day of year, and this time Liam is throwing the New Year’s party. His parties are the best anyway, mainly because he’s got an enormous house, one of the biggest in town really. He’s got rooms no one even uses on the second floor, his living room and lounge are vast, the basement is spacey and vacant, there is a spacious front lawn even, all with a tennis court (which he had transformed into a basket ball court), a garden, and a proper stream flowing beside it in the huge backyard of the house. So basically everyone comes, and more the people, more the fun. And his mother doesn’t mind either; she’s often at her own party with her friends. So unless Liam keeps helping her with daily chores, and takes care of the house, she doesn’t mind how many friends he invites over.

Because of the party, Liam has a perfect excuse to talk to Zayn. he isn’t going to exactly ask Zayn out, but he’s going to invite him to the party. And he hopes to god that Zayn doesn’t say no as he pushes open the bakery door, and steps inside the warmth of the store. He’s wearing a leather jacket over a white henley, there is a beanie on his head and one of his hands is shoved deep inside the pockets of his black jeans.

When he reaches the counter, unfortunately, he doesn’t find Zayn there. The girl, whose name Liam can’t recall, at the cash register is looking at him from under her mascara filled eyelashes, suspiciously. He is about to go over to her ask about Zayn, when the kitchen door opens and closes. He turns his gaze towards it, and suddenly everything inside him goes into frenzy.

Its Zayn, his hair falling on his forehead, framing his face, his white hat on top of his head failing to cover it properly. He’s got his tongue sandwiched between his teeth, his eyes on the pile of buns on the tray he’s holding. He’s wearing over mittens, but his sleeves are rolled up and Liam can see tattoos on the little skin that is showing.

Zayn comes towards where he’s standing, the skin on his face glistens where sweat drops are just starting to form. Zayn sets the tray on the counter, then he looks up and Liam nearly trips over in the sparkle of his round, brown eyes.

“Liam,” Zayn says, and he licks his lip the next instant, blinking, as if mildly surprised.

“Hey,” Liam greets him, “Hi, Zayn.”

“Wh- what are you doing here?” Zayn’s cheeks are pink, and Liam wonders why that is, “Oh, I mean are you here to buy something? Wait- that was a stupid question, you’re obviously here to buy something.”

“No, um, actually no,” Liam says, “I didn’t come to buy anything.”

“Oh,” Zayn says again, his eyes drop down to the buns, as he begins to sort them out, into three rows, “So- so why then, are you here?”

“I am having a party tomorrow over at my place,” Liam says, Zayn’s shying eyes filling him with a certain kind of confidence, “It’s for new year’s, I wanted to invite you? So, if you’re free, please come.”

Zayn looks up, “Can I uh, can I bring a friend with me?”

Something twists inside Liam, he doesn’t know why he’s still a bit jealous, he has no reason to after what Louis told him.

“Yeah, Perrie can come too,” he nods.

“No, not Perrie,” Zayn says, “Another friend, he’s coming over to meet me on New Year’s, so I can’t abandon him. So can I bring him to the party, if that’s okay?”

The knot inside him tightens, and Liam wants to know _who_? Who is this guy who’s this guy who’ll accompany Zayn to the party, who won’t let Liam have some alone time with Zayn? He really wants to say no, only Zayn can come and nobody else but he knows that’ll not help him. Because then Zayn wouldn’t come either, and he doesn’t want that to happen.

“Yeah sure, you can,” he gives Zayn a smile.

“Good,” Zayn smiles back at him.

And for the first time, Liam notices how Zayn presses his tongue behind his teeth when he smiles. And that is all what Liam thinks about until he falls asleep that night.

—-

“oh, wait, so you’re telling me that liam payne, invited you, zayn malik, to his party?” perrie asks him, her blue eyes wide, she’s covered to head to toe in a grey onesie.

they’re walking home. and it’s cold, he actually envies perrie’s choice of clothing. he is only wearing a grey cotton shirt, a navy blue sweater over it and black jeans that seem to be ice thin. the cigarette between his fingers isn’t doing a good job of warming him up. they’re walking towards perrie’s house first and then he’ll walk another five blocks until he reaches his own. he’s glad he wore his black boots though, because perrie seems to have a hard time keeping her sneakers from digging in the snow.

“yeah, he did,” he answers.

“and you waited until now to tell, why?”

“because i knew you were going to leave everything and start interrogating me, and we had customers to serve.”

“okay, fair enough,” perrie chortles, “but what i don’t get is, why aren’t you freaking out right now?”

“why should i?” 

“oh my god, because he likes you and he asked you out?”

“he didn’t ask me out,” zayn clarifies, “he invited me to his party!”

“more the reason to freak out,” she says, “it’s liam’s party, you don’t even realize what has happened!”

“what’s the big deal even, it’s just a party and i’m not even sure if i’ll actually go,” zayn says.

“oh no no no, you’re going mister, and i am going with you,” perrie waves a finger at him, “i have never been to a liam payne party because nobody from our school is ever invited, heck, nobody is ever invited! if you go to liam’s school, you just go to the party! but he came all the way over here, to invite you, he came himself, oh god! he is into you zayn, it’s as clear as my skin!”

zayn grins at her, taking a quaff of his cigarette, his mind running a race; wondering, contemplating, deciding.

“i don’t think so,” he says after a moment, “i don’t think he likes me.”

“then why did he come all the way down here to invite you? and why the hell was he roaming around the bakery these past couple of days, never coming in? and why does he want you to go to his party so bad that he allowed you to bring friends, when not a single person from here as ever stepped foot in his house?” perrie says, “when you have reasonable answers to all of the above, then say that he doesn’t like you.”

zayn keeps looking at her huffing for a few moments, thinking over everything she has said, “okay, i’ll go. but you and harry are coming with me, because i know i’ll end up embarrassing myself and i’ll need you both there to drag me out of there.”

“i am definitely coming, don’t care about harry.”

“i’ll tell him that the moment he arrives tomorrow.”

“i can’t believe i am going to see him after two years, like? i am so excited! i hope he’s still as lame as he was when we were younger!”

“he is, he’s literally the same idiot,” zayn sniggers, realizing how much he actually misses harry; he really can’t wait to see that bright, cheerful, dimply face again.

—-  
  
The party is literally out of control. He really shouldn’t have trusted Niall with the guest list, neither with the eatables; there is smell of booze everywhere around him, packets of chips and red plastic cups lying around, a mixed scent of perfume and sweat hanging in the air.

It’s more crowded than all the other parties he has thrown, and he knows it’s probably because of how it could be the last party of school year. After this, he’ll have to focus on his games and just like every other student; he’ll get busy with exams too. There are kids around he doesn’t even know, and swarms and swarms keep coming in. The only person he wants to see entering isn’t in sight though. And there is something clutching his gut, that he knows won’t go away until he sees those sparkling eyes again.

“Why are you standing here, shouldn’t you be enjoying?” Louis asks, coming over to him with a cup in his hand, Niall right behind him.

Liam just shrugs at Louis, giving him a look he hopes he gets. Louis does, because he nods at him, coming to stand beside him, leans his back against the wall. Louis is wearing a dark green hoodie, brown trousers underneath and he has styled his hair even, they’re gelled up, and he looks pretty good. Liam knows it’s more because he wanted to look good than because of the party, since last time Louis had shown up in his pyjamas.

“What, now you’re going to stand here with Li and be boring too?” Niall asks, his golden hair is a mess, red shirt covered in sweat because of all the dancing he has done; he already looks half drunk, “What’s the point of looking so good if you’re not going to get some tonight?”

And Liam just laughs at him, because only if Niall knew why Liam had changed a dozen shirts before giving up and putting on this loose, simple white t-shirt; he didn’t wear a vest underneath though, he’s pretty sure his skin is slightly visible. He’s wearing black jeans, hanging low on his waist, his favorite brown boots all laced up and snapback on his head; red and back, backwards. He was pretty satisfied by the outcome and Niall has just confirmed it for him that he does in fact, look good.

“I am just a bit exhausted,” Liam lies, and he hears Louis snort into his drink, “You go have fun, tonight’s your night Nialler. Look at this amazing party you’ve put up!”

Niall grins widely at him, “Yeah, I know! So many girls dancing, who I don’t even know, it’s amazing!”

And then Niall is turning around and before Liam realizes, he has disappeared back into the crowd. Liam turns his gaze back towards the entrance, waiting.

“What if Zayn doesn’t come?” Louis asks him.

“Then, we’ll know for sure how much in love with me he is,” Liam says, sardonically.

“I didn’t say I was sure he liked you,” Louis says, “I said he might like you.”

“Okay but who said I should-”

He doesn’t quiet remember how he was supposed to end that question because Zayn has just walked in, and he is dressed in head to in black, and Liam hasn’t ever seen him in all black before, and he’s pretty sure Zayn is the reason why the colour was invented.

Because he looks so good, the light falling on his hair, slicked back, and he’s wearing a black jacket over a black shirt, hands disappearing in black pockets, of his faded jeans, boots at the bottom.

He puts a hand up, waving, doesn’t even care how awkward he might look, how he’d come off, he just keeps waving until a white hand clutches Zayn’s shoulder and his eyes fall on Perrie, who’s pointing Zayn towards his direction. Zayn looks at him then, and Liam smiles at him, beckoning him over, and then Zayn is walking over.

Excited, he glances at Louis and he’s surprised at the way Louis is looking at Zayn. He knows Zayn looks like he just walked out of a fashion magazine, but at least Louis shouldn’t be ogling at him like that. Louis’ jaw has gone slack, and he actually looks like he has just seen a ghost; he hasn’t ever really looked like this before and Liam is still pondering when he hears a new voice, “Louis, shit… Louis!”

Liam jerks his head towards the voice, and it’s not Zayn who has spoken, it’s the guy standing beside him and Liam’s mouth is falling open before he can even stop himself. Because he hasn’t changed; his grin is as wide as Liam recalls, dimples as prominent as ever, his hair a bit longer, less curlier, falling down all the way down to his neck, and his green eyes widened at Louis, as if Louis was the last person he had expected to see.

“Harry,” Louis says, voice dying down towards the end.

Zayn is looking back and forth between them, Perrie too is frowning; both of them probably don’t even know what’s happening.

“You two know each other?” Perrie asks.

Louis snorts, he has a blank expression on his face which Liam knows he’s trying very hard to hold up, “Know each other? Huh, why don’t you ask _him_ this question?”

Perrie turns to Harry, so does Zayn. Harry doesn’t take his eyes off Louis though, his lips are parted.

“Harry?” Perrie nudges him, and he startles, looking at her.

“What- what?”

“Are you okay, bro?” Zayn asks him.

“I- yeah, yeah, just,” he nods his head at Zayn, then turns back to Louis, narrowing his eyes, he points at him, “You, why didn’t you reply to my letter?”

Louis blinks at him, “What?”

“Why didn’t you answer? I sent you a three page long letter, front and back, and you didn’t even send two words back!”

“You didn’t!” Louis protests, “I did! I sent you a letter and _you_ sent nothing back!”

“What? That’s ridiculous! I did send you a letter back, fuck I sent five more when you didn’t reply to the first one, and you didn’t reply to any one of them!”

“That’s because I didn’t get any letters!”

“What do you mean you didn’t get any letters? I sent them myself!”

“Well, I didn’t get them!”

“That’s impossible! You just didn’t want to write me back and make me suffer! I know you!”

Louis gasps, “I would never do that to you, do you even know how much I have missed you? And to think that I wouldn’t send you something back to hear from you again?”

“But I-”

“What address did you send the letters to?” Liam cuts harry off, as puzzled as everyone else.

“Louis’ address, obviously Liam,” Harry gives him an incredulous look, “The return address that was on your letter!”

“Well, Louis, you shifted a week after Harry left,” Liam says, “Maybe the letters went to your old address, did you even think about that?”

Louis begins to say something and then he bites his tongue, “ _Shit._ ”

“I sent you six letters,” Harry says, looking at a embarrassed Louis, “I wasn’t lying, and when you didn’t send anything back, I stopped.”

“I am sorry,” Louis says, “Shit was happening in my life, and I didn’t even think about the address thing, shit I am so stupid! I am-”

“It’s okay, I don’t care about that,” Harry says, and he takes a step forward, “The only thing I care about is whether you’re single or not? Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Oh Harry,” Louis sighs, his shoulders drop, “I wish I didn’t have to tell you this, but last year I kind of fell in love with Liam, and we’ve together ever since. I think it’s for life. So, yeah, you’re late, I’m sorry babe.”

Harry goes from looking like a hurt puppy to throwing his head back and laughing under a second, “Nah you can’t use that on me Lou, I already know Liam has got the hots for Zayn, so you’re lying.”

His everything burns, as he glances at Zayn, whose cheeks are a deep shade of red, and he’s so obviously trying not to look at Liam. He can’t believe if Zayn already knows he likes him, if he had been _that_ obvious. Perrie is grinning beside him, as Harry moves forward and takes Louis’ hands in his. Louis lets him.

“I missed you too, Louis,” Liam hears him say, lost in how Zayn’s eyelashes look fluttering like that.

“Good, bec–”

“Oh my god, HAZZA!” Niall pats Harry on the back, coming to stand between Harry and Perrie.

“Neil, my golden son!” Harry envelops Niall in a bro hug.

“I can’t believe you’re still calling me that,” Niall pouts.

“You’re still calling me Hazza!” Harry counters.

“Oh, well,” Niall shrugs, “Turns out, we don’t get tired of old habits!”

“Okay Harry,” Perrie interrupts, “Does this whole town know you or something? Are Zayn and I missing something?”

“Oh it’s a long story!” Louis answers, “Maybe, Harry will tell you another time, right now, he needs to come with me.”

He grabs Harry’s hand back and starts to drag him away, Harry obliges, “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere, where I can show you how much I have missed you,” Louis shouts, and Harry just grins, letting Louis pull him away towards the staircase.

“I am glad someone is going to have a good time tonight,” Niall says, looking forlorn.

“Why, you look like you just had a pretty great time yourself,” Perrie says.

“Oh you don’t know,” Niall says, “There isn’t a single girl at this party I know, and all of them look like they’ll punch me if I go up to them and talk to them!”

“Okay, you’re paranoid, come with me,” Perrie says, “I’ll be your wing-girl tonight.”

“There’s no such thing as a wing-girl,” Niall says.

“Well, let me prove you wrong then,” Perrie grins, as she starts to walk away, “Come on.”

Niall just shrugs, following her and then Liam is left alone with Zayn. Something he had been hoping for a long time. He shifts his feet, turning to face Zayn. He’s standing right beside him, Liam doesn’t know when he had moved closer, but he isn’t looking at Liam, he’s looking straight ahead.

“Hey,” Liam says, causing him to turn his head.

“Hi,” Zayn says, the start of a smile on his lips.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t say hi before,” Liam says, “Harry and Louis really didn’t give me a chance.”

“It’s alright,” Zayn says, “I didn’t even know they knew each other.”

“I did,” Liam says, “They used to date when Harry used to live here, then he left and that’s all I remember really.”

“Oh,” Zayn says, “I am glad they found each other again, that doesn’t happen very often.”

Liam doesn’t really know what to say to that so he just nods, nudging his head at the people scattered around in the lounge, “So do you like the party?”

“Yeah, it’s cool, I guess,” Zayn shrugs, nonchalantly.

And Liam feels like Zayn isn’t really interested, like he didn’t want to come, and maybe his face had shown the dejection because a moment later, Zayn adds, “Don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I don’t know a lot about parties, I am not very much of a party person really. I don’t like crowds.”

“Oh,” Liam says, that’s why, that’s okay, “You want to get out of here then? We could go to the garden at the back, nobody’s there. Because that garden is like my mum’s third child and she’d kill me if I let anyone ruin it.”

“Yeah,” Zayn smiles, “Yes, please.”

“Okay, let’s get my jacket and then we are out of here,” Liam says.

Zayn follows him, as he pulls a black suit jacket from the nearest closet, the jacket his mom had kept for when guests come over and gets into it. He doesn’t want to go up to his room right now and get a proper jacket; this coat will keep him warm. He just wants to be alone with Zayn, that’s all he wants right now. Then he makes his way through the crowd, Zayn’ right behind him all the way to the garden in his backyard.

And then he finally turns to look at Zayn properly, and he finds him standing in the middle , staring at everything around him; the snow covered bushes, the couple of trees that surround them, yellow garden lights on every corner illuminating the place, the stream of water flowing towards the left, reflecting the few stars above. And then he looks at Liam.

“This is- this is so beautiful.”

‘ _You should look at yourself_ ’ he wants to say, but he doesn’t, “I told you, my mom’s third child. She loves it; she really takes care of it. That is literally an artificial stream she got placed there, all these plants, she did it all herself.”

“She must be pretty creative,” Zayn says, as he walks over to the flower bed, which is covered in snow but there is a myriad of all sorts of flowers underneath, and the colours look so pleasing together, “It’s so peaceful here. I can’t believe you live here, like you can come here anytime you want.”

“I don’t really come here often,” Liam shrugs, “Just sometimes, when I need to clear my head before a game. Try to calm my nerves and all.”

Zayn looks at him, “You get that nervous before game?”

“Yeah, especially when you’ve got all the pressure on yourself,” Liam says, walking over to him, “Like I have to win eighty percent of the games if I want to get a scholarship.”

“You’re applying for a scholarship?” Zayn asks.

“Yeah,” Liam says, knows why Zayn is asking that, judging from the place he lives in and his rich dad, anyone would ask that, “My dad said if I wanted to continue to play basket ball, I can use it to pay for my university too. He doesn’t really want me to play professionally, he says I am wasting my time, but that’s all I really want to do.”

“What does he want you to do?” Zayn asks.

“Take care of the business he has built,” Liam says, “But my mind isn’t made up for that, like the only math I know is at what speed and from what angle I have to throw the ball so that it goes through the hoop.”

“That’s not math,” Zayn chuckles, “That’s physics.”

“See, you see, I am not made for that,” Liam laughs with him, “I am made to play basket ball.”

It’s weird how Liam is telling him all this, something only Niall and Louis know about him. But somehow it feels normal, he feels like telling Zayn all this is okay. Feels like Zayn is soon going to become a normal part of his life, at least he hopes that he does.

“That you are,” Zayn smiles at him, “I have heard a lot about your games over at my school.”

“I hope whatever you heard was good,” Liam says.

“I was,” Zayn grins.

“So what do you do then, what do you want to do?” Liam asks him, as they start walking, around the garden, the soft noise of water flowing in the air.

“I am into art,” Zayn says, “All kinds of it. Like painting, drawing, writing, reading, singing, cooking, doing graffiti. I just like all of that, so I’ll probably go into that field.”

“So why did you move here?” he already knows the answer to that, but well, Zayn doesn’t know that.

“Uh, we had some finance problems,” Zayn hesitates at first, then eases a bit, “So my father stayed back in the city, and I came here with my mum and sisters until my dad solves the issues.”  
  
“Oh.” Liam says, “I am sorry about that.”

“Nah, it’s fine really,” Zayn smiles at him, “I am kind of glad we came here, life is turning out to be pretty good here.”

“Really?” Liam’s heart is doing a weird thing.

“Yeah,” Zayn says, “Like I got such a good job, it pays very well, and like it’s baking. Which is like art you know, making cakes, using all those colours and shaping bread into cartoon characters and dolls and whatnot. Brilliant. And also it’s a quiet town, I like quiet things.”

It’s funny, how Liam is the opposite of quiet and Zayn knows that very well and yet he doesn’t flinch away when Liam inches a little closer to him and let their shoulders touch.

“Well, I am glad you like it here,” Liam says, “Most people don’t.”

“Most people are lame then,” Zayn says, “Everything about this place is amazing. _Everything_.”

And it’s the emphasis on that word that makes Liam grin, at him. And Zayn smiles right back. Liam knows what he’s trying to say, and he even gets why he isn’t really making a move. Zayn’s shy, if his moving eyelashes and reddening cheeks have conveyed anything; it’s that.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Zayn says.

“About what Harry said before- how long have you known?” he stops in his steps, facing Zayn.

“What?” Zayn frowns a little, probably recalling.

“About me, uh, me having a crush on you?”

“Oh,” Zayn’s eyelashes go down, and his hands they disappear into his pockets as he fidgets with his feet, “Uhm.”

Liam waits for an answer, but Zayn doesn’t look up at him, so he just stands there, giving Zayn his time.

Slowly, after half a minute or so, Zayn lifts his head back up again, his bottom lip is wet and red, like he had been biting it, and then Zayn says, “Do you?”

“Do I what?” Liam asks, trying not to drown in the sparkle he loves so much.

“Do you have a crush on me?”

There is a certain kind of vulnerability in Zayn’s expression that makes Liam feel weak, as he breathes out, “Yeah.”

Zayn’s face breaks into a wide smile, his tongue pressing behind his teeth, his eyes almost scrunching close, the cute eye bags under them prominent, as he looks down back at his feet again, and Liam wonders why he didn’t tell Zayn this before, why he waited so long to witness this sight in front of him.

“Good,” Zayn whispers, still looking down, making circles on the snow with the tip of his left shoe, “Because I do too.”

Liam’s cheeks hurt when he smiles, and his hands, lightly shivering from the cold go up to touch Zayn’s face. When he tilts Zayn head up, placing his fingers lightly under his stubble covered chin, Zayn lets him. And Liam inches closer, putting his other hand on Zayn’s waist, Zayn leans into him, and hands still in his pockets.

“Thank god that you do,” Liam whispers to him, his nose very close to his own.

Zayn smiles at him, “I don’t understand why you like me though, when Perrie first told me, I didn’t believe her.”

“I don’t know why you like me,” Liam says, “You’re the nicest person on this planet, and I am not even close.”

“You’re nice too,” Zayn says, eyes scanning Liam’s face, “Look, you’ve got nice eyes, such nice eyebrows, a nice nose, and nice lips.”

His eyes stop on Liam’s lips, and Liam sees when he swallows, looking up into Liam’s eyes the next second, the sparkle intact, they reflect the white moonlight. And Zayn is so beautiful, he’s treasure.

And Liam leans in, using his hand to pull Zayn closer, and he captures Zayn’s lips under his own. He feels when Zayn slides his hands out of his pockets, and then brings them all the way up, warm hands pressing behind Liam’s cold neck. A shiver runs down Zayn, and Liam pulls him more in, their lips warm against each other.

He hasn’t kissed anyone this gently, this sensually, this _deeply_. His tongue hasn’t fit so perfectly against another. And Zayn keeps pressing into him, like he wants all of it and Liam keeps giving, because it’s all for Zayn anyway.

When they pull back Zayn’s lips are wet, they glisten with Liam’s spit and when Zayn’s tongue flicks out to lick at them, Liam decides he wants to see a lot more of this.

“I wish I had told you sooner how much I like you,” he says, Zayns still pressed close to him, his arms around Liam’s neck, “That day when I came to the bakery with Louis and Niall, I should have told you. I would have gotten to do this sooner.”

Zayn looks up at him, eyes wide, “You’ve liked me for so long?”

“Yeah,” he says, doesn’t even feel embarrassed, just wants Zayn to know.

“Oh my god, Perrie was right!” Zayn says, “I hate when Perrie is right.”

“Let’s not talk about Perrie,” Liam says, “Let’s not talk about anyone; let’s talk about how beautiful you are.”

“Liam,” Zayn says, and he looks down again, “Stop.”

Liam tilts his head back up, “Why? I’ve waited a long time thinking it, don’t stop me from saying it.”

Zayn’s cheeks are red again, as he leans in, and hides his face in Liam’s neck. Liam’s heart bursts with a thousand different emotions he can explain.

“You’re the only person who has ever said that to me,” Zayn whispers into his neck.

“That’s impossible,” Liam says, “Your previous boyfriends didn’t tell you?”

“I haven’t ever dated anyone,” Zayn says again, and he says it so quickly, so secretively, like he’s unsure of himself, as if Liam’s feelings for him would change after that. But Liam, the way he is feeling, that’s another story. He tightens his arms around Zayn, and he rests his cheek on Zayn’s hair.

“Well,” Liam says, “That’s everyone’s loss then.”

Zayn giggles, a breath skips Liam.

“So that’s what you are now?” Zayn asks after a moment, pulling his head out and looking at Liam, his hands rest on Liam’s shoulders now, Liam’s are still on either side of his waist, “My boyfriend?”

“If that’s okay with you?” Liam says, doesn’t even care if they’re skipping steps here.

“That’s very much okay with me,” Zayn grins.

“Good,” Liam smiles back down at him, “Now I know you have never done this before, so you might not know the rules.”

“There are rules?” Zayn frowns a little, genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, rule number 1,” Liam says, “I can kiss you anytime I want, all the time I want. You okay with that?”

“I am more than okay,” he hears Zayn chuckle, before Zayn lifts himself up on his toes, and presses his lips to Liam’s once more.

—-

life has been a million times more amazing since the beginning of this year. everything is suddenly so much better; the mornings are warmer, even when the snow hasn’t stopped falling; the nights are comfier, even when he has to work so many shifts; the days are blissful, even when he’s still taking extra classes and following the same boring routine.

everything is so much better because of liam.

can he believe that he actually has a boyfriend? no. and can he believe it’s someone as perfect and cute and amazing as liam? definitely not. and yet it is all still real; the good morning texts he has been getting since the last four days, the way liam says goodnight over the phone, not hanging up until zayn does. not leaving him even in his dreams. zayn doesn’t know where he’s living at the moment, but he wonders if heaven is going to be like this.

“i made the biggest mistake of my life hitching you up with liam,” perrie says, causing him to startle, “would you please work! a little girl is going to have a cake-less birthday tonight because of your pointless daydreaming.”

“i wasn’t daydreaming,” he mutters, hpt in the cheeks because how long had he even been standing here in the kitchen staring at the wallpaper in front of him, he doesn’t know.

“yeah, i can see that,” perrie rolls her eyes, as she opens the oven and takes out a baked, chocolate fudge cake out of it, “here, time to decorate. she wants _the thunder cats_ on it.”

“I know,” zayn says, moving to take the pan from perrie, but she moves it away.

“zayn!!!” perrie exclaims, eyes wide, “you want to burn your hands?”

and he looks down confused to realize, he doesn’t have any oven mitts on. he swears he had put them on, he does. how they’re still lying on the counter he was standing in front of a few minutes ago, he truly doesn’t know.

“why don’t you just put the cake here?” he signals to the counter, and perrie just grunts, placing the pan on the wooden surface.

“stop thinking about liam for one second, for all you know he isn’t even thinking about you right now,” perrie says, as she proceeds to get the cake out of the baking pan, placing it on the table.

zayn just grins at her, saying nothing. it’s just that he knows perrie is a bit annoyed, because since the beginning of this month, liam, louis, and niall have barely left the bakery. after school, they just came here because they knew zayn and harry would be here, and they’d push chairs and tables to the corner beside the door and just lounge their like it was their living room. and zayn had been sneaking them a lot of free stuff about which perrie had found out. and one time she had caught liam and zayn making out, pressed against the oven so now liam is banned from entering the kitchen.

so yeah, perrie has been irritated but she still teases zayn about liam as much as she did before, she even gets into the conversations they’re having at their corner table, sometimes she lets zayn get off early because she knows liam is taking him to dinner, so he knows she’s not really irritated by him, she just wants him to not be lazy.

when perrie leaves, telling him to finish the cake in an hour because it needs to be delivered before 8pm and the clock is striking six right now, he gets to work immediately. he’s made all the fondants he needs, all the colours sorted out. he is layering the surface of the cake with chocolate glaze, when his phone buzzes in his jean’s pocket.

quickly, he wipes his hands on the towel lying on the table, making sure they’re free of any gooey material, because he doesn’t want to get anything on his coat, he pulls his phone out carefully.

the message is from liam, and he grins without realizing as he presses the button to read it.

**_Game over v r in the ¼ finals & ur cute_ **

he smiles even wider as his fingers quickly type out a reply.

**_congratulations im so proud of you :)_ **

he wonders if that’s too much, if he should only say congratulations. and then decides no, he’s going to send it because it’s the truth. liam might have won a lot of games before this, and everyone must have been so proud of him but zayn hasn’t had a chance to feel like this before. this time zayn is proud of liam, he’s so fucking happy for him, his chest has swelled up. so he presses send, and waits.

**_I m coming 2 meet u rn where r u ?_ **

he thinks whether he should say no; if he calls liam here it’d be very hard for him to pay attention to the cake he needs to get done. and perrie will be mad. but then he also wants to see liam’s face right now, wants to know how liam looks after winning a game, and he wants to kiss him, a congratulations kiss, a you’re-the-best-person-ever kiss. also, he misses liam. yes, they did meet yesterday. but he misses him, and his arms around his shoulder. so he tells the reasonable part of his brain to shut up and texts liam back.

**_at work :)_ **

he gets a reply in a second.

**_B there in 10 xxx_ **

—-

he is just adding the finishing touches to the cake when perrie comes in to check on him.

“how’s it going?” she asks.

“nearly done,” he replies, as he steps aside to let have a look.

“that looks amazing,” she smiles brightly, “i couldn’t have done this myself.”

“i know,” he smirks, wiping his hands on the towel lying beside him, he can feel the sweat trickling down the sides of his forehead from under his hat which is holding most of his hair together.

he had been working nonstop since more than half an hour, had even gone outside about two times to check, but liam still hasn’t arrived.

“anyway,” perrie turns to him, “i was thinking i’d send you to deliver this, but i’ll send someone else now since liam is waiting for you outside.”

“what?” he asks, voice high all of a sudden.

“liam’s outside,” perrie says, “that is what I came to tell you actually. You should go, he’s done something to himself.”

“what do you me- why didn’t you- what?” he blabbers, walking towards the door and outside while he does so, not really knowing what to make of whatever perrie is saying.

and then he spots liam, sitting on a chair at the corner table, he’s not facing him but he can see the chevron tattoos going up his forearm just below where his sleeves are rolled up. he’s wearing a thick maroon hoodie, blue jeans and his hair are a mess on his head. niall sitting beside him and louis standing next to them, supported by harry’s tall figure. something doesn’t look right to him, as he nears.

“hey, babe,” he says, when he reaches liam.

he feels his breath getting knocked out of him when liam turns around. there is a bruise on his right cheek, a small white bandage strip across it, and the right side of his lip is grazed too; just starting to purple.

“hey,” liam says, getting up, an uncomfortable look on his face.

“what happened to you?” zayn asks, all the joy in his heart of liam’s win draining down.

“nothing, just got in a little fight,” liam says, “it’s nothing serious.”

louis snorts at that, causing zayn to glance at him. that’s when he notices louis’ swollen black eye. quickly, he looks at niall and niall turns away instantly, but not before zayn spots the two bandages on the left side of his forehead.

“it doesn’t look like nothing serious,” he says.

liam takes a step forward, places a hand on zayn’s left elbow, “i am telling you, just got into a fight, things went out of hand, nothing to worry about, yeah?”

“but you’re hurt,” he says in a small voice, touches the left side of liam’s face, and liam leans into the touch, he doesn’t stop looking at liam when he says, “louis, what happened? tell me.”

“i can’t,” louis says, “liam made me swear.”

liam throws louis a warning glance at that.

“but i can tell you this, that he did something stupid and it came back to bite not only him, but niall and me too, right in the ass,” louis adds.

and liam sighs deeply in front of him.

“what?” zayn asks, he just wants to know. because he can’t think of a reason why anyone would want to hurt liam? or did liam hurt someone so bad that had to do this to him? zayn just wants to know.

“it’s just something stupid I did,” he says, inches closer, slides both his hands around zayn’s waist, “I didn’t know it’d turn into this. I mean it wasn’t even anything serious.”

“tell me,” zayn insists, rubs his thumb softly on the side of liam’s lips, who winces a little under the touch.

“okay. so almost a month ago, i told this guy in my team who wanted to ask you out that you weren’t into boys, that you were already in a serious relationship with perrie just to keep him away from you, and now he has found out i was dating you so,” and then liam shrugs, like what he has said makes complete sense.

“what? you what? what?!”

louis actually chuckles, as he takes a seat with harry behind liam, “yeah we all got our ass beat because liam had told this brawny guy that you were straight. this is a story you both can tell to your kids.”

“i can’t believe- I just,” he really doesn’t know what to say.

“he isn’t a nice guy, i wasn’t going to let him come here and flirt with you,” liam says, he’s pressing his fingers into the small of zayn’s back, which isn’t really letting zayn focus, “and thank god i did that, because looks like he was pretty serious about asking you out.”

“but now you’re hurt because of me,” zayn says, his hands resting on either side of liam’s neck, “you are so- _silly_ , you didn’t even have to- oh my god, I don’t know what to say right now.”

so he just sighs, glances at his friends who are busy in conversation, not paying them any attention and brings liam’s face closer to his, holding him by the neck. He presses his forehead against his, liam gives him a lopsided grin that makes him smile a little.

“you’re so dumb,” zayn says, “I can’t believe you’d go around spreading lies about me just so nobody hits on me.”

“fred isn’t a good guy okay,” liam touches his cheek, “he wouldn’t have treated you right, and I knew that, so I had to keep him away from you.”

“even when you didn’t know me?”

“yeah,” liam says, playing with the little hair that sneak out from under his hat, that he had forgotten to take off in his haste, “and like this might sound very cheesy but somewhere deep down, i kind of knew i was going to know you. so until i grew a pair, i had to keep everyone else away didn’t i?”

“that’s very creepy,” he says.

“you call it creepy, i call it clever,” liam smirks, “it’s just a matter of perspective.”

“well, you didn’t need to,” zayn says in a low voice, “i wouldn’t have agreed to go out with him, or anyone else anyway.”

“and why’s that?” liam whispers back, his eyes smiling, like he already knows what zayn’s going to say.

“because none of them would be you.”

liam smiles wider, “well, you should have told me this then, it could have saved me from getting severely injured.”

he rolls his eyes at that, “well it wasn’t me who disappeared and stopped coming here?”

“well, i did come to the charity thing!”

“and acted like you didn’t know me half the time? you stayed away, and suddenly stopped talking to me!”

“oh,” liam says, pressing his tongue between his teeth, “that was because i thought you and perrie were _actually_ together.”

“what?” he wrinkles his nose, “wow- liam, you _are_ sodumb.”

liam shrugs, smiling cheekily, “yeah but. i still got you.”

“that you do,” zayn says, pressing a very light kiss to the side of liam’s lips.

—-

It's Sunday, and he has always loved Sundays but this one is just too amazing to be true.  
  
He had woken up today, a solid weight next to him; a cheek pressed to his side, an arm with a few tattoos sketched here and there lying over his stomach, and a head resting peacefully on his bicep. Zayn's face illuminated by the sunlight seeping through the curtains had looked so beautiful, one couldn't even dream about it.

Zayn had crashed at his place last night because he had insisted. They didn't realize when the evening had melted into midnight, as they were busy watching movies and talking about mindless things and making out on the bed and on the couch and against the bathroom door. So Liam had pouted, and whined and tugged on Zayn's sleeve until Zayn called his mom and said he was staying the night.

And then they had lied on the bed, facing each other, talking about what scared them and what excited them. Observing, learning the contours, angles and lines of each other's faces. They had fallen asleep together; Liam's arm providing Zayn with a pillow, Liam's lips peppering kisses on Zayn's smile. He hadn't really done anything sexual with Zayn yet, he doesn't know why but the way things were going just seemed right to him. They had only been dating for almost two weeks maybe, and Liam just wanted to take things slow. He knew Zayn hadn't done anything with anyone else ever, so he wanted to make everything perfect for him when the time came. And Zayn is not even eighteen yet, he turns eighteen in a few days, and Liam kind of wants to wait until he is. Really, truly wanting to do everything right with Zayn, every single thing.

So, they hadn't really done anything last night, but before dozing off Liam had kissed Zayn on a bit too many places; quiet deeply on the hollow of his neck, where now a reddish blotch sits, resembling the shape of Liam’s mouth. And to be honest, it does look pretty artistic, as if it was supposed to be painted on Zayn's skin like that.

“Stop smirking,” Zayn says, sitting cross legged across Liam on the bed, in his boxer shorts and a maroon hoodie, that hangs down on his shoulders; far too big for him.

There is a tray and dishes lying between them; Zayn had made them chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast even when it's like two in the afternoon. It's just that when Liam had woken up, he had let Zayn sleep. He knew how tired he got all week; shifts at the bakery and extra art classes, so he just let him rest while he showered and then sat beside him on the bed, completing his assignments and eating chips from a bag they had opened last night. He just didn't want to leave Zayn's side.

His mom was the one who had knocked on the door and startled Zayn awake when she had come to tell him she was going out and wouldn't be back until the evening. And then Zayn had showered, before offering to make breakfast. Liam couldn't say no because of the kiss placed on his bare shoulder after the request. The reason Liam is sitting here only in his trousers with no shirt on right now, is exactly because he wanted Zayn to give access if he wanted to place anymore kisses anywhere. (and zayn had, three behind his neck and two above his chest and one on his bicep all while they were in the kitchen).

And now Zayn is here, right in front of him chocolate smeared on his bottom lip, smudged on his chin, in Liam's hoodie and it's quite a pleasant sight.

“I can’t,” Liam says, licking his own fingers clean, he hasn't tasted pancakes this good before, “I haven't ever given someone a proper hickey before. And that is a work of art. A work of art on a work of art!”

Zayn turns even redder if that's possible.

“Like that's not just my first hickey on you, it’s my first hickey on anyone ever,” he says when Zayn doesn't respond, making sure Zayn knows it, knows how special and important he is to him, “And I am glad that it's on you.”

“So you've had– you've done more stuff than this,” Zayn asks, not meeting his eyes, as he wipes his hands clean with a tissue, “But you haven't given someone– this before?”

“You know you can say sex and hickey out in the loud, it's only me and you here?” Liam says, watching Zayn’s teeth digging into his bottom lip, “And yeah, I have slept around, but I haven't given someone a hickey before. It was always just plain kissing and sex.”

“Oh, okay,” Zayn frowns a little, “I thought maybe you–”

“I haven't ever properly dated anyone Zayn,” he says, “I am not the only one who's your first, you're my first proper boyfriend too. Not the first person I'll sleep with, but the first person who I'll want to sleep with every single time.”

Zayn looks up at him, says in a low voice, “You don't know that.”

Reaching out, Liam wipes chocolate off Zayn's lip with his thumb, licks it off his thumb, “Trust me, I do.”

“How- I mean, how?” Zayn says, eyes downcast again, “Like I am just me, you were good enough without me– you have already done so much, you already know so much, how can you say you are going of like me, I am just– where, where are you going, Liam?”

Liam can’t let Zayn finish that sentence, he knows what Zayn is going to say, and he doesn’t want to hear it. Because Zayn doesn’t even know how significant his existence has become to Liam, Zayn doesn’t even know how much he has changed Liam in such a short span of time. So, he’s going to tell Zayn, once and for all so that Zayn never ever doubts their relationship again.

He fumbles with the books on his desk, until he finds what he is searching for. A blue notepad, that he uses for all the rough work he does. He flips through the pages hurriedly, as he walks back to Zayn who is still staring at him, mouth parted open, confused. He finds the page he was looking for and plops down on the bed, in front of Zayn, this time closer. Less than an inch of space between them.

“Here,” he says, “Read this.”

Zayn looks at him confused, taking the notepad from him, he reads the first line, then asks, “What is this?”

“Just read it, I wrote this a week after I first met you.”

Zayn looks back at the page, “10 reasons why z will never say yes to me-”

“You’re z.”

“-number 1, we go to different schools, his school hates my school so he probably hates me.”

“That one is stupid, but I was just finding excuses not to think about you, so.”

“Number 2, there is an 80% chance z is straight-”

“Okay, wait a second,” he says, scanning the page from top to bottom, “Read from number 6, before that it’s just bullshit.”

“Number 6, I don’t care about anyone else except my friends. Number 7, I am selfish. Number 8, I’ll only hurt z. 9, I have slept with people I don’t even know the names of, and I haven’t treated them nicely. 10, z is a nice person and I don’t deserve him.”

“And we shouldn’t go after things we don’t deserve,” Liam adds, as Zayn looks up to meet his eyes, “I was going to write that but I was too frustrated.”

Zayn says, “You actually think you don’t deserve me?”

“Yeah, a little bit lesser now than I did before, but I did think that a lot,” Liam says, “Zayn, if you had met me like two or three months back, you wouldn’t have met the person I am now, you would have met an asshole.”

“Don-”

“It’s true,” Liam says, looking into Zayn’s eyes, “All of this I wrote, it’s all true. Back then, when I knew these things about me they seemed okay, they seemed normal and then I met you and I wanted you but I wanted you differently. And then I started thinking of all the things that’d make you despise me and I realized I wasn’t really as good of a person I thought I was.”

“You’re a good person,” Zayn touches his cheek with the palm of his hand.

“I have become a good person,” Liam says, “Which is a surprise to me, because nobody has ever had this kind of an effect on me and I have met a lot of people in my life. Nobody has ever made me want to be better before, and that was before I even knew you.”

He shifts, his legs spreading out on the bed, as he holds Zayn in his arms, letting Zayn wrap his legs around the low of his waist, as he settle on his lap, looking down at him, one hand pressed behind Liam’s neck, one against his left bicep.

“And now that I know you, all I want is to become better and better, with you by my side, be better for you and with you,” he confides, “That is why I know, and I probably shouldn’t be saying this, I know it, my brain is telling me it’s too soon, but if you asked me to take your hand and walk with you until the end of infinity, I would take your hand.”

“I know you liked me, I didn’t know you felt all of that,” Zayn says, he’s smiling down at him, glossy eyes, an intense sparkle in them.

“Well, I do,” he says, “And what’s strange is that I am not even embarrassed to say all that, I am actually happy I feel all this for you. So happy to have you right next to me, to infinity.”

Zayn smiles wider, tongue visible behind his teeth, cheeks reddish, “And I am so happy, that you’re the only one who makes me feel this way.”

“What way?” he grins, warmth in his chest.

“Like, so warm inside,” Zayn bumps his nose with him, “Like so strong, and a bit more confident. Like I could actually put my hand out and ask you to walk with me till the end of infinity.”

“Would you want to?” he asks, “Stay beside me?”

“Until infinity ends,” Zayn whispers, hands cupping Liam’s face.

“Infinity has no end,” he says, pressing a light kiss on Zayn’s lips.

“Yeah, I know,” Zayn smiles down at him, his eyes earnest.

Liam just pulls him down then, clutching the front of his maroon hoodie, until he’s kissing him as deeply as he wants to. There is that strong taste of chocolate in Zayn’s mouth, that he licks off, from every single nook and corner, from under his tongue and the roof of his mouth, until all he can taste is flesh and tongue, until he’s sure he has replaced the sweet taste with his own. Zayn’s arms are wounded around his neck, one hand completely tangled in his hair and yeah, this is it. This is _it_. Zayn pressed to him so close, in his clothes, one day, ages and ages away from now, this is exactly how he’ll want to spend his Sunday. He knows it.

And when Zayn pulls back, hands clasped together behind Liam’s neck, panting at the loss of air, chest rising and falling against Liam’s, it’s the way he smiles down at him; glistening, wet lips, that makes Liam realize, that maybe he is actually in love. Maybe it is too soon, maybe it’s too _very_ soon, and maybe he’ll keep it a secret until a long time, but yeah, this is what love might feel like. If it doesn’t, then it should. Because Zayn is leaning in again. And he loses himself again, somewhere in that little, brown freckle in Zayn’s left eye, before he shuts his own eyes, and falls back onto the bed, taking Zayn down with him.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [ziamasf](http://ziamasf.tumblr.com)


End file.
